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Great Service, With Ifs And Butts

| Tampa Bay, FL, USA | Right | October 21, 2012

(I am a concierge at an historic hotel in the downtown area, and a common call that I receive is to deal with is customers losing items in the rooms.)

Me: “Hello, and thank you for calling [hotel]. This is [my name]. How can I be of service?”

Caller: “Hello, my name is [name] and I stayed a few nights there last weekend, from Friday to Sunday. I believe I may have, um, left some… jewellery in the room.”

Me: “Ah, well, I would be glad to ring the maid service and have them check their lost and found. Could you describe the item that you’re looking for?”

Caller: “Well, that’s the thing. You see, I kind of want you to be discreet about this.”

Me: “Of course sir; if you wish, I will check for the item myself.”

Caller: “That would be great. Now, what I’m looking for is very expensive; it’s silver with several small diamonds in it.”

Me: “Okay, sir, but what exactly is it?”

Caller: *obviously flustered at this point* “Well, um, it’s a…” *in a whisper* “…butt plug.”

Me: *I wasn’t really sure that I heard what I just heard.* “Excuse me, sir?”

Caller: “A butt plug? You know, for…”

Me:*interrupting* “Oh, yes, yes. I understand. Let me have your contact information and I will check the lost and found. But, to be honest, it is possible that it was thrown away, considering.”

Caller: “Oh, I hope not, that thing was very expensive! To be honest, I really just need to be careful where I leave that thing.”

(I almost died holding back laughter at this point.)

Caller: “Well, if it shows up you can call me at [phone number]. Thank you, young man, you’ve been very helpful. Just let me know!”

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Weekly Roundup: Weird Science

, | Not Always Right | Right | October 21, 2012

Weird Science! In this week’s roundup, we feature customers with a weird (or non-existent) comprehension of science!

  1. The Building Block(heads) Of Life (5,628 thumbs up)
    A brainless bookstore customer gets a crash course in Chemistry 101!
  2. Magnetic Lines Of Farce (3,127 thumbs up)
    This credit card customer doesn’t quite understand the “attraction” of magnetic stripes.
  3. A Heated Topic (3,870 thumbs up)
    A restaurant patron gets into a heated argument with an employee over the warmth of the sun!
  4. Science, Stripped Down To A Soundbite (2,031 thumbs up)
    Explaining condensation and temperature? It’s wasted on customers who just want a “watered”-down explanation.
  5. Can’t Keep A Good Waitress Down (4,038 thumbs up)
    A waitress gets a tip for giving a customer tips on gravity!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

October Themed Giveaway Roundup: Geeks At Work!

Not Always Working | Working | October 21, 2012

Hey readers! Check out these great Geeks At Work stories we’ve already received for the October Themed Story Giveaway:

Got a story of your own? Submit it for a chance to win a Not Always Working T-shirt!

Submitting is as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Submit a story based on the theme-of-the-month: Geeks At Work!
  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt!

PS – winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt: Wednesday, November 7!

They’ll Never Rear The End Of This

| Alberta, Canada | Working | October 21, 2012

(My friend’s car gets rear ended and he brings it into a shop to get fixed. The day he’s suppose to pick up his car, he gets a phone call and this exchange occurs.)

Mechanic: “Hello, [my friend’s name]. This is [name] from the shop, and unfortunately your car’s going to take another week to be repaired.””

My Friend: “But you just called me an hour ago saying I could pick it up today. May I ask why?”

Mechanic: “You are never going to believe what happened. We had just completely fixed up your car when one of  our guys pulled out of his parking spot and rear ended your car.”

My Friend: “So, my car was rear ended again?”

Mechanic: *sheepishly* “Yes. The repairs will be covered by us, sorry!”

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Mistaken About Their Own Mistakes

, | New Jersey, USA | Working | October 21, 2012

(My boyfriend and I frequent a local burger place, to the point that some of the cashiers know to put “No pickles, heavy onions” on the order before we even say it. Everyone seems to like us except this one shift manager who has always had a sour puss on her face.)

Me: *to the shift manager* “So, four cheeseburgers, no pickles and heavy onions, and four bacon burgers, no pickles heavy onions, please.”

My Boyfriend: “Oh and two value sodas.”

Me: “Oh yeah. Thanks, I forgot!”

(The shift manager reads the cost, which I think it sounds a bit low, but figure I just miscalculated. However, when we get the receipt, it says four cheeseburgers, four regular burgers.)

Me: “Oh, sorry, I wanted four bacon burgers, not regular burgers.”

Shift Manager: “You know, every time you two are in here, you act like you NEVER make a mistake!”

My Boyfriend: “…Excuse me?!”

Shift Manager: “Hey, don’t you yell at me! If you keep up that tone of voice, I’m going to have to ask you to leave!”

Me: “I’ve got a better idea: how about you cancel the order and give us our money back, because we’re leaving anyway?”

Shift Manager: “Fine, whatever! I just said, ‘Sorry, I made a mistake!'”

Me: “No, that’s the OPPOSITE of what you just said!”

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