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I’m So Mad You Can’t Replace It!

Extras


Via.

Burn The Other Cheek

| Valley Stream, NY, USA | Religion, Wild & Unruly

Me: “Good morning, sir. Would you like to purchase our protection plan on this?”

Customer #1: *very thick Jamaican accent* “Nah, your coworker explained that. I don’t want it.”

Me: “Alright, sir.”

(I proceed to remove the anti-theft device and scan the GPS.)

Customer #1: “Does this…”

(The rest of the question is so garbled by his accent that I can not make it out.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir… could you repeat that?”

(My coworker, who by chance is also from Jamaica, jumps in and answers the customer’s question. After about 30 seconds of discussion between the two, it’s clear the customer still has some unresolved questions, and since I am the only register open a line has been forming. I interrupt their conversation briefly.)

Me: “Excuse me, I’m just going to suspend this transaction so I can take the next customer. As soon as you’re ready, I’ll finish up for you.”

Customer #1: “Okay.” *continues asking my coworker questions*

Me: *calling out* “Next, please!”

Customer #1: “YOU BIGOT!”

(Suddenly, Customer #1 throws the GPS at me, hard enough to crack the plastic clamshell case it’s in and giving me a small cut on my arm. He then storms out of the store. My coworker and I look at each other, confused, as the next customer, Customer #2, walks up to my register. Customer #2 is a middle-aged woman with a similar Jamaican accent. She is wearing a church t-shirt.)

Customer #2: “That man was so rude to you for no reason.”

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. I really have no idea why he called me a bigot.”

Customer #2: “A good Christian should be kind. People like that should just die and rot in H***!”

Breaking Bread Can Break You Up

, | Maine, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners

(A couple comes in and races up to the sandwich unit.)

Woman: “Hi, we only need one sandwich for our kid. I’m gonna make it quick, I promise. He wants a six inch white—”

Man: “No, he doesn’t. He wants flatbread.”

Woman: “No, he wants white!”

Man: “Flatbread!”

Woman: “Shut up, I know what he wants!”

Man: “No, you don’t! He won’t eat white bread!”

Woman: *sighs* “Is there any way I can get the sandwich on a flatbread, but put white bread on the side? I know I’m right, and he hates flatbreads.”

Me: “Yes, of course. It’s just costs a bit extra.”

Woman: “Okay, so turkey and cheddar cheese.”

Man: *shakes his head* “He likes American.”

Woman: “No, he doesn’t!”

Man: “Yes, he does!”

Woman: “Shut up! You’re confusing people!”

Me: “Would you like me to put some American on the side?”

Woman: “No! He HATES American, so there’s no point. Besides, he wants it toasted.”

Man: “Finally! Something right!”

Woman: “Right, so toasted with olives and mustard, and that’s it.”

Man: “He wants lettuce, too.”

Woman: “Fine, s***! Put lettuce on there and when he won’t eat it. Whatever!”

Me: “…Anything else?”

Woman: “No. HE’S probably confusing you already.”

Man: “YOU’RE the confusing one.”

(I ring them up and they calm down as they get ready to leave.)

Woman: “Thanks, sorry about that. We didn’t mean to confuse you!”