Archive for 2012

Jump to page:

Husband And Strife

| Maine, USA | Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners, Wild & Unruly

(A man walks in with his wife and starts ordering their food. She goes over to the soda machine to grab a drink, but the ice machine stops working. Frustrated, the wife starts slamming on the bar you push to get ice.)

Wife: “IT’S NOT WORKING!”

Me: “I’ll be right over. Sometimes it jams and you just have to hold down the handle for a bit.”

(I go over and hold down the handle for a good 30 seconds which is usually enough time for the ice to start coming out again, but it still doesn’t work.)

Me: “I’m really sorry about that. Usually there’s an additional charge for bottled drinks but you can have one for no extra cost if that’s okay.”

Wife: “Okay, thanks.”

(The wife goes to grab a drink but just stands there for a moment.)

Wife: “You know what? WHATS THE POINT OF GRABBING A G**D*** DRINK IF THERE’S NO G**D*** ICE?!”

Husband: “Baby, it’s fine. Just grab a bottled drink.”

Wife: “NO, IT REALLY ISN’T!” *throws cup on the ground and stomps out the door*

Me: “I’m so sorry… you can have a bottled drink for free at this point.”

Husband: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah, sure. I’m sorry about the ice.”

Husband: “No, no, don’t worry about it. She’s just a huge b****!”

The Only Thing He’s Paying For Is Lip Service

| Tampa, FL, USA | Uncategorized

(Note: I’m an unpaid museum volunteer with a vest that obviously says volunteer. A well-dressed patron approaches me.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how are you?”

Patron: “I need to speak to the President, please.”

Me: “Are you talking about the Vice Presidents or just the President?”

Patron: “You know d*** well who I’m talking about, now get me to him! I’m the one who controls YOUR paycheck!”

Me: “I’m a volunteer, sir.”

Patron: “Oh…” *walks away*

Painful Showers Bring Mayday Flowers

| Midwest, USA | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

(While working at the flower shop, I’m trying to quickly help a pushy customer.)

Customer #1: “Could you HURRY up? I’m in a rush!”

(I hurriedly wrap her flowers in tissue. In my rush to appease her, I staple my thumb to the paper. The staple is completely closed, going through BOTH my thumb and the paper. It immediately starts bleeding on her flowers.)

Me: “OW! Oh, gosh, I need to get some help with this!”

Customer #1: “No! I need my flowers! Give them to me!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am bleeding all over your flowers. I need some help getting this out of my thumb. I’m sorry, but you’ll need to wait.”

Customer #1: “NO! HURRY UP!”

Me: “Do you want bloody flowers?”

Customer #1: “I don’t care about your thumb! Get me new flowers!”

(At this point, I notice Customer #2, who is standing behind her, getting woozy at the sight of my bleeding stapled thumb.)

Me: *to Customer #2* “Sir, are you going to be okay?”

Customer #1: “Stop helping him! You’re supposed to be helping me!”

(Finally, a coworker hears the commotion and comes up front. She immediately gets on rubber gloves and starts trying to pry the staple out.)

Customer #1: “I can’t believe this! If I wasn’t in such a hurry, I would just go somewhere else!”

Customer #2: *still looking green* “Lady, just go somewhere else! Leave the poor girl alone!”

Customer #1: “Lazy employees!” *throws her hands in the air and leaves*

(Soon, the staple is gone and my wound is bandaged. At least my day ended on a high point—Customer #2 was very pleasant and bought me a flower!)