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The Lost Hour Of Your Discontent

| Auckland, New Zealand | Related | October 23, 2012

(My mother and I are having a casual discussion in the living room. My best friend is also there, watching TV. Suddenly, mum changes the subject.)

Mum: “It’s daylight saving this weekend.”

Me: “Oh, right.”

Mum: “What do they do with the extra hour?”

(My friend and I exchange a glance.)

Me: “What do you mean?”

Mum: “When we turn the clocks back, we lose an hour. What do they do with it?”

Me: “Um, what? And who is they?”

Mum: “The government I suppose.”

(My friend is barely containing his laughter.)

Me: “Mum, there is no extra hour. We’re changing the time we say it is; we’re not changing time itself.”

Mum: “Don’t get smart with me! I know what I’m talking about. I want to know what they do with the hour they take from us!”

An End To Notices

| Austin, TX, USA | Romantic | October 23, 2012

(My boyfriend and I work opposite shifts at our jobs. He works days, I work nights. So he usually leaves for work before I wake up, and I leave for work before he gets home, and when I get home, he’s usually asleep. One day before going to work, I leave him a note:)

Me: “I love you! <3” (When I return home later that evening I found a reply from him:)

Boyfriend: “I love you more than a space alien loves anal probing! <3”

Unconsciously Making An Effort To Do Homework

| Seattle, WA, USA | Romantic | October 23, 2012

(My fiancé and I are spending the night together, despite the fact that I have tons of homework due in history the next day. He has been feeling really sick and a bit delirious after eating something earlier. I am taking care of him, until he suddenly drops unconscious at the end of a sentence. I begin trying to wake him.)

Me: “Are you okay? Wake up, babe. Please let me know if you’re okay!”

(He doesn’t wake up. I get frantic and start shaking him.)

Me: “Come on, babe. Just let me know you’re okay!”

(He finally sits back up and looks at me bleary eyed.)

Fiancé: “Do your homework!”

Puts The Cross Into Cross Texting

| London, England, UK | Romantic | October 23, 2012

(I am texting my girlfriend and my mother at the same time, and accidentally cross my replies. My religious mother has been trying to get me to watch ‘Passion Of The Christ’.)

Mum: “So what did you think of the movie?”

Me: “So lovely! Everyone there was just so nice. Spent all afternoon thinking how inspiring all these people are and that I want to be just like them. Too much wine though.”

Girlfriend: “My sister told me you came by the house yesterday and didn’t realise I was at work. But you hung out for a couple of hours anyway? How was it?”

Me: “It was horrible, I seriously thought it would never end. I’ve never seen so much prolonged violence, and there were so many sadistic people! I’m so glad all those people are going to Hell.”

Then I Ki**ed Her

| Romantic | October 23, 2012


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