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| Related | October 24, 2012

Their Jokes Jar Jar Stinks

| Bristol, England, UK | Related | October 24, 2012

(My dad and I are watching the end of the ‘Star Wars: Clone Wars’ cartoon. I’ve only just walked in and don’t really know what’s going on, but Anakin and Padme are being obviously romantic. My dad has a habit of saying ‘She’s your girlfriend. You like her’, when TV shows are over the top romantic.)

Dad: “Your girlfriend, she is.”

Me: *without missing a beat* “Like her, you do.”

Dad: “I taught you well, young padawan.”

Well, If Gwyneth Paltrow Did It…

| VA, USA | Related | October 24, 2012

(My cousin is throwing a baby-shower for me. One of the guests is her aunt–in-law. I am not directly related to this woman, but have known her most of my life. She is known for being a little kooky and scatter-brained.)

Me: “Oh, this is so cute and it has his name on it!”

(I hold up a one-sie that says “Ben’s Banana Shop,” and has a monkey on it.)

Aunt-in-law: “You’re going to name the baby Banana?!?”

(It took us the rest of the baby-shower to get her to understand that I was not going to name my child ‘Banana’. But my cousin’s family still calls him Banana, and we joke that he got his first nick name before he was born.)

Only Eats Fast Food

| Canada | Related | October 24, 2012

(We’re having dinner.)

Brother: “Dad, have you ever tasted snails?”

Dad: “Oh, no. I don’t eat anything that moves at less than 10 km/h.”

Doing The Monster Mash

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Romantic | October 24, 2012

(I’ve been in pain all day due to my period. My boyfriend has been really lovely, doing housework tasks that are normally mine, and relieving me of my duties as cooking aid. Also, whenever he makes mashed potatoes, I insist on licking off the remains of the masher, which he finds a really weird thing to do. Today, however, he brings the masher to the bedroom and presents it to me straight after he is finished preparing the dish.)

Me: “Aw… you’re awesome!”

(He does an awkward little dance, flapping his arms around.)

Me: “…okay, maybe you’re just weird.”

Boyfriend: “I’m just being weird for purposes of public enjoyment!”

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