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Pop-Corntempt

| WA, USA | Right | October 24, 2012

(I have recently broken my foot, and the pain and brace I wear under my shoe causes a pronounced limp. I’m working in concessions on a slow day when an elderly couple approaches to order. Our kettle is popping corn directly behind me, so it’s difficult to hear.)

Me: “Hello, how are you doing today?”

Male Customer: *mumbles inaudibly*

Me: “What can I get started for you?”

Female Customer: “He just ordered a small popcorn.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, of course. Buttery topping?”

Male Customer: *mumbles inaudibly*

Me: “Sorry? Could you repeat that?”

Female Customer: “He said butter!”

Me: “Ah, thank you. Would you like anything to drink with that?”

Female Customer: “Teenagers! You never listen to a word anyone says! He already ordered a small coke!”

(I’m 24, but I brush off the comment about my age as it’s a common mistake.)

Me: “I apologize, it’s difficult for me to hear for the corn popping.”

(I proceed to collect the ordered items, limping as usual. I overhear the woman mumbling, but think little of it.)

Me: “Here you are, can I get any candy or anything else for you?”

Female Customer: “If you’re done shuffling about so lazily, I’d like you to ring me up.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I broke my foot recently. I was moving as fast as I could under the circumstances.”

Female Customer: “Right, uh huh. Whatever excuse you need. Lazy teenagers.”

(I complete the transaction, and go about various tasks as soon as they leave, trying to hide my obvious annoyance. After a few minutes, the man returns and leans way over the counter with a serious frown. I nervously shuffle over.)

Me: “Welcome back, how can I help you?”

Male Customer: “I just wanted to apologize about my hag of an old wife. She’s got some sort of stick crammed up there, and it sure ain’t mine!”

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Work Distractions

| Working | October 24, 2012

Some Men Are Tools

| QC, Canada | Working | October 24, 2012

(I am a female woodworking student, but I’ve been making furniture and wood decorations for many years prior to that.)

Owner: “Hi, can I help you, little miss?”

Me: “Hi, yes thanks! I would like to get a planer #4, and also wood chisels, size 3/8, 1/4 and 1 inch. I also need a 6 inch bevel and a square.”

Owner: “Why don’t you let your husband deal with that and send him here so you don’t get his order wrong?”

Me: “…I’m sorry? I’m a woodworker. This is all for me, and I would like you to stop making sexist assumptions like that.”

Owner: “You women should stay in your kitchen and leave the manual work to men! In no way you could use a planer correctly without a man’s help, little miss. Also, it’s too heavy for a woman.”

(Note: It’s about 5 lbs. A kid could lift that.)

Me: “Thanks for your help, that’s going to be all.” *hands him my debit card*

Owner: “You sure you don’t want to wait until your husband can come with you so he tells me exactly what he wants?”

Me: “No! I don’t have a husband, and I don’t need any help with my tools, thanks.”

(He finally lets me pay. However, when he hands me the bag, I decide to have a little fun with him. I let my arm fall low and bend half my body towards the floor.)

Me: *exaggerating* “Oh my God, this is so heavy! Can a man in this store help me, oh poor frail girl, to carry this huge bag of manly tools? I think I’m going to faint!”

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Sub-standard Operating Procedures

| Mechelen, Belgium | Working | October 24, 2012

Me: “Hi, can you please assist us? Our email is not working.”

Service Desk: “Please send an email, as per standard operating procedure.”

Me: “But I can’t send an e-mail. Our email is not working.”

Service Desk: “We cannot act on a phone call. We need an email to start a ticket.”

Me: “I don’t think you understand: my email is not working, and it is the same for my coworkers.”

Service Desk: “No, you don’t understand. As per standard operating procedure, without an email, we cannot open a ticket.”

(This continued for awhile, but neither I nor my coworkers got anywhere. Finally, one of my coworkers was so fed up with it that he went home and sent an email from his personal address!)

Related:
Infinitely Loopy, Part 3
Infinitely Loopy, Part 2
Infinitely Loopy

Running Afowl Of The Customer

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Working | October 24, 2012

(I am a vegetarian for very specific health reasons. I am out for supper to a popular Italian restaurant with friends and family. I know what I want to eat, but the waiter is pushing a special on fettuccine alfredo).

My Sister: “Doesn’t the alfredo you make here have chicken stock in it?”

Waiter: *rolls eyes* “Good Lord, no; it’s ALFREDO! It’s vegetarian.”

Me: “Well, if you’re sure, then I’ll try it.”

Waiter: “GOD, it’s alfredo! Cream sauce, you know? You’ll like it.”

(My sister orders one too, and hers arrives before mine. She takes a bite.)

My Sister: “It’s delicious, but you won’t want to eat it. It has chicken stock in it.”

Waiter: “IT DOES NOT!”

Me: “Could you just go ask the cook? Please?”

Waiter: “FINE!”

(We don’t see the waiter for at least 15 minutes. When he returns, he sheepishly takes my plate.)

Waiter: “Can I get you the pesto? On the house?”

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