(Grandma is talking about an acquaintance’s upcoming wedding.)
Grandma: “She bought some unusual decoration for the church. It’s going to be a erotic wedding.”
(Everyone cracks up laughing.)
Mom: “Exotic, mom!”
Grandma: “That’s what I said! Erotic!”
September Top Story Roundup: From subway saviors to gregarious grannies, these are the top stories for the month of September!
PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!
PS #2: Read more roundups here!
September Top Story Roundup: From subway saviors to gregarious grannies, these are the top stories for the month of September!
PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!
PS #2: Read more roundups here!
(A woman in her thirties comes in with her young daughter, and they order two meals to go. The total is just over $18 and she hands me a twenty.)
Me: “Out of twenty?”
Customer: “Oh! Oh! I have the change. Is that okay? Do you want the change? Is it okay if I give you the change? Will it mess you up? Will you have to re-ring it?”
Me: “No, it’s fine. Thanks.”
Customer: “Are you sure? It won’t mess up the till?”
Me: “No. Actually, we have no way to enter in how much customers give us. We just have to use math to figure it out!”
Customer: “Really? Oh my gosh. There’s really no way to figure it out?”
Me: “Nothing but counting.” *I hand her the change* “There you go. That’ll be right out.”
Customer: *in awe* “Wow!”
(We sell printer ink cartridges. As we don’t have the space to display them all, we place dummy cards which have the name and price on them. They all have a ‘subject to availability’ sticker on them).
Customer #1: “Just these two.” *places dummy cards*
Me: “I’m afraid we’re out of stock on one, sir. Would you like us to order you one?”
Customer #1: “No.”
(I proceed to scan the one.)
Me: “Your total is £15, please.”
Customer #1: “But what about the other one?”
Me: “As I said, we are unfortunately out of stock.”
Customer #1: “Now you listen here! I have, selflessly come in MY OWN time. I have come to YOUR store. Now GET me my INK!”
Me: “I don’t know what I can do for you, sir. We haven’t got it.”
Customer #1: “Well, I’m not moving until I have that ink!”
(He smiles and crosses his arms, keeping eye contact with me. By now, a line has formed behind him.)
Me: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave, sir.”
(The customer doesn’t speak and continues to stand there. Suddenly, another customer behind him grabs him by the scruff of his neck and turns him around.)
Customer #2: “May I suggest you selflessly go f*** yourself?!”
Customer #1: *goes red and quickly darts for the door*
