(I’m at my boyfriend’s house. I am wearing a shirt with a pony from a show whose target audience are 5 year old girls, and involves lots of colorful ponies.)

Boyfriend’s roommate: “I like your shirt.”

Me: *eyes widen* “You, are my new best friend. Do you watch the show?”

Boyfriend’s roommate: “Yes.”

Me: “You, just made my day.”

Boyfriend: “So, I took you out to breakfast. And, I’m taking you to the movies. He makes your day because he likes a show about ponies. I see how it is. [Roommate], want to go to the movies?”

Me: “Well, if you liked [pony show], you’d make my day, too!”

(I am working at the information desk where I look up titles for customers that can’t find what they’re looking for. An older woman approaches me with a request.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my son likes these movies. Oh, I forget what they’re called. It has three series written by an English lady. The boy has a mental disorder and he’s acting out.”

(I start giving her options of BBC documentaries, shows, etc.)

Me: “Do you remember any of the actors? Anything about what they were wearing, what they looked like, etc.?”

Customer: “The main boy has round glasses.”

Me: “Do you mean Harry Potter?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: *laughing* “What made you think he had a mental disorder?”

Customer: “He was at a big state hospital!”

(I share a bedroom with my sister. We are playing the alphabet game instead of counting sheep.)

Sister: “I’ll go first…Alligator.”

Me: “Banana.”

Sister: “Cookie.”

Me: “Dog.”

Sister: “Euphoria.”

Me: “What does that mean?”

Sister: “Really happy.”

Me: “Oh. What comes after your word?”

Sister: “F.”

Me: “F, huh? Hmm… phone.”

*pause*

Me: “Shut up, I’m tired.”

(My parents have been married for 34 years. They are having a fight and my mom is in the process of leaving the house to cool off.)

Mom: “I will see you later when I’m not angry at you anymore!”

Dad: *in a mocking love tone* “I love you sweet heart!”

(While backing out, my mom flips him the bird.)

Dad: “Number one? You think I’m number one?”

(He starts singing and doing a little dance in the driveway.)

Dad: “I’m number one! I’m number one! She thinks I’m number one!”

(I am working the checkout on a very busy evening. Even though it is busy, I try to make small talk with the customers as we wait for their transactions to process. One lady comes up wearing a Winnie the Pooh jacket. As a Pooh fan myself, I compliment her on her jacket.)

Me: “I just love your jacket!”

Customer: “Thanks! I just wish they had Pooh.”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “When I bought this one, they were out of stock on Pooh.”

Me: “That one does have Pooh.”

Customer: *looks down at her jacket* “Well, darn. I forgot which one I was wearing!”