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Oh, Bother

| Illinois, USA | Uncategorized

(I am working the checkout on a very busy evening. Even though it is busy, I try to make small talk with the customers as we wait for their transactions to process. One lady comes up wearing a Winnie the Pooh jacket. As a Pooh fan myself, I compliment her on her jacket.)

Me: “I just love your jacket!”

Customer: “Thanks! I just wish they had Pooh.”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “When I bought this one, they were out of stock on Pooh.”

Me: “That one does have Pooh.”

Customer: *looks down at her jacket* “Well, darn. I forgot which one I was wearing!”

Nothing To Be Alarmed About

| Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

(This happens while I’m working security for my college. I am a volunteer assisting with the fire drills during morning classes. I run into one of the faculty members while checking the 4th floor of a building to make sure it has been evacuated.)

Faculty: *mouths something at me from the end of the hall*

(Note that the alarms are blaring and it is impossible to hear anything unless it is yelled.)

Me: *speaking at the top of my voice* “ Ma’am, you need to evacuate the building!”

Faculty: *takes a couple steps closer to me, still obviously trying to say something, but very quietly*

Me: “I’m sorry? I can’t hear you with the fire alarms going off!”

(The faculty member continues trying to speak to me from across the hall until I finally walk right next to her and let her talk right into my ear.)

Faculty: “Do those alarms mean that we have to leave?”

Me: “Yes.”

Harry Potter And The Delusions Of Grandeur

| BC, Canada | Uncategorized

(I am working at the information desk where I look up titles for customers that can’t find what they’re looking for. An older woman approaches me with a request.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my son likes these movies. Oh, I forget what they’re called. It has three series written by an English lady. The boy has a mental disorder and he’s acting out.”

(I start giving her options of BBC documentaries, shows, etc.)

Me: “Do you remember any of the actors? Anything about what they were wearing, what they looked like, etc.?”

Customer: “The main boy has round glasses.”

Me: “Do you mean Harry Potter?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: *laughing* “What made you think he had a mental disorder?”

Customer: “He was at a big state hospital!”