Customer: “Recommend the movie I am thinking of!”
Me: “Pardon?”
Customer: “You heard me. Are you deaf? Recommend the movie that I am thinking of!”
(I reach over and put my hand on her head.)
Customer: “CASINO!”
This story is part of the Customers Expecting Mind-Readers roundup!
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(I pass by two very young girls, roughly eight years old.)
Girl: *to her friend* “I just had my first child!”
(I stop in my tracks before realizing that the children in question are playing a demo of ‘The Game of Life’.)
(I am babysitting for a woman who refuses to leave the house. I am outside while her children are playing. She is watching us from the window.)
Me: “[Child], don’t throw rocks. They’re painful.”
(When the child continues to throw the rocks at me, I take the rocks from him and put him in a time-out.)
Mother: *rushing out of the house* “Don’t punish my children! Who do you think you are?”
Me: “Ma’am, my employer requires me to give the children a time-out if they are doing anything dangerous.”
Mother: “Wait, what? I thought you were just here to play with my kids!”
Me: “Well, yes, babysitters usually do some sort of activity with the children.”
Mother: “Why would I hire a babysitter if I’m here?! Why did you come here?”
Me: “Ma’am, you called the company and asked them to send a babysitter to your house.”
Mother: “Don’t punish my children!”
(She chased me out of her yard with a duster. A few weeks later, she called again for a babysitter. She was going to court because a neighbor’s child was hit in the head with a stone.)
This story is part of the Babysitting roundup!
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Customer: “Ma’am, I think your frozen yogurt is expired.”
Me: “Really? What brand?”
Customer: “I don’t remember. But it tasted funny last night when I ate it.”
Me: “What was the expiration date?”
Customer: “Not until next month. But it tasted funny. After I put it in the microwave, it was liquid and warm.”
Me: “You put it in the microwave?”
Customer: “Yeah, it’s frozen yogurt! You have to heat it up!”
This story is part of the Microwave Oven roundup!
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Me: “Hi there. What can I get for you?”
Customer: “A black coffee and a bacon roll, please.”
Me: *repeating order as I write it* “Black coffee and a bacon roll. Okay!”
Customer: “Oh, well done.”
(I begin to write crispy under ‘bacon roll’ on the ticket.)
Customer: “Oh! I mean the bacon roll well done, not you!” *nervous laughter*
Me: “Of course! Extra crispy bacon.”
Customer: “Not that you aren’t doing a good job, of course! I just meant… you know. Thank you, and well done!”
This story is part of the Customers-That-Make-You-Want-To-Back-Up-themed roundup!
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