Archive for 2011

Jump to page:

You Can’t Have Their Cake And Eat It Too

| USA | Right | December 15, 2011

(A family is holding a small birthday party. They bring their own cake and ask me to bring the birthday cake out with their ordered dishes. Now, I’m serving another group of customers.)

Customer: *points to birthday group* “Can we have what they got?”

Me: “Sure.”

(The dishes are prepared and I bring them out to the table.)

Customer: “You missed the cake.”

Me: “That was their birthday cake. It isn’t on our menu.”

Customer: “But you brought it out to them.”

Me: “Yes, because it was theirs to begin with.”

Customer: “So, can I have one too?”

Me: “It isn’t ours. They got it elsewhere.”

Customer: “I asked for everything they have.”

Me: “We do not have the cake. It was their own.”

Customer: “But I want one!”

(This continues for several minutes, but they aren’t satisfied.)

Me: *giving up* “Sorry, we are sold out of cakes.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you just say so?!”

1 Thumbs
1,377
VOTES

Before Pride, But After Prejudice

| Orem, UT, USA | Right | December 15, 2011

Customer: “Do you have Pride and Prejudice?”

Me: “Of course, it’s right over this way.”

(I grab a copy and hand it to her.)

Customer: “Was this written before or after the movie?”

Me: *caught off guard* “Um…before.”

1 Thumbs
1,108
VOTES

Via The Aloha Landbridge, Of Course

| Texas, USA | Right | December 15, 2011

(I receive a call from a customer who lives in the continental United States.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [shipping company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m trying to make a ground shipment and the website won’t let me!”

(This company disables ground shipping if your account is late. I check the customer’s account and it is current.)

Me: “When did this start?”

Customer: “Do you think it could have anything with the shipment going to Hawaii?”

Me: “That’s probably it…”

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall And Not For Sale

, | St. Paul, MN, USA | Right | December 15, 2011

(I work in a second hand clothing store. The store has racks of clothes and a couple full length mirrors. A man walks in.)

Customer: “Where are your mirrors for sale?”

Me: “Um, we don’t sell mirrors.”

Customer: “What do you sell?”

Me: “Clothing. We’re a clothing store.”

Customer: “What kind of a place is this?!” *storms out*

The Golden Age Of Crazy

| Australia | Related | December 15, 2011

(My best friend and I are at a small café. My friend drops and bottle lid on the floor, I pick it up. Soon after, a man approaches us.)

Man: *to friend* “Excuse me, do you have a grandmother?”

Friend: “Uh… yes?”

Man: “If your grandmother slipped on a bottle lid and broke her hip, you’d be sad, right?”

Friend: “Yeah, but…”

Man: “If she broke her hip, she’d probably die. How would you feel to know that you killed your grandmother?!”

Me: “Please, stop talking to her that way. She hasn’t killed her grandmother, and there’s no bottle lids on the floor.”

Man: *shouting* “But, there was before! She dropped it! She could have killed a grandmother!”

(The manager comes over to ask the man to calm down.)

Manager: “Sir, what seems to be the problem?”

Man: *literally sobbing* “These girls killed all the grandmothers!”

Manager: “Sir, I assure you that they haven’t killed any grandmoth–”

Man: “There’s a grandmother out there by the road! You see her?”

(He runs out side and does a tackle dive in front of an old lady.)

Man: “I’ll protect you, Gran!”

(He hugs her. The old lady hits the man with her handbag and walks away.)

Page 30/357First...2829303132...Last
« Previous
Next »