Customer: “Do you have Pride and Prejudice?”
Me: “Of course, it’s right over this way.”
(I grab a copy and hand it to her.)
Customer: “Was this written before or after the movie?”
Me: *caught off guard* “Um… before.”
(I am checking in my young son).
Front desk: “And what is your son’s date of birth?”
(I want my son to say it so he can learn.)
Son: “The second…”
Front desk: “Of what month?”
Son: *proudly* “October!”
Front desk: “Do you know what year, hun?”
Son: *thinks* “Every year!”
(A family is holding a small birthday party. They bring their own cake and ask me to bring the birthday cake out with their ordered dishes. Now, I’m serving another group of customers.)
Customer: *points to birthday group* “Can we have what they got?”
Me: “Sure.”
(The dishes are prepared and I bring them out to the table.)
Customer: “You missed the cake.”
Me: “That was their birthday cake. It isn’t on our menu.”
Customer: “But you brought it out to them.”
Me: “Yes, because it was theirs to begin with.”
Customer: “So, can I have one too?”
Me: “It isn’t ours. They got it elsewhere.”
Customer: “I asked for everything they have.”
Me: “We do not have the cake. It was their own.”
Customer: “But I want one!”
(This continues for several minutes, but they aren’t satisfied.)
Me: *giving up* “Sorry, we are sold out of cakes.”
Customer: “Why didn’t you just say so?!”
Customer: “What does ‘repackage’ mean?”
Me: “It means that an item has been re-packaged.”
Customer: “What does that mean?”
Me: “It means that the item is no longer in the original packaging that it came in. It’s either because it was a return, or because the packaging got destroyed.”
Customer: “What does that mean?”
Me: “It means that we have discounted it for you to compensate for the missing package.”
Customer: “What does that mean?”
Me: “It means that the item is cheaper now than it was originally.”
Customer: “What does that mean?”
Me: “It means that it’s on clearance.”
Customer: “Oh! Why didn’t you just say that?”
(I receive a call from a customer who lives in the continental United States.)
Me: “Thank you for calling [shipping company]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “I’m trying to make a ground shipment and the website won’t let me!”
(This company disables ground shipping if your account is late. I check the customer’s account and it is current.)
Me: “When did this start?”
Customer: “Do you think it could have anything with the shipment going to Hawaii?”
Me: “That’s probably it…”
