Archive for 2011

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This Game Has Been Well Trade

| NM, USA | Right | March 15, 2011

(I’m ringing up a customer for his game trade-in. It’s a rather old game.)

Me: “Alright. You’ll be getting $5 store credit, or $3 cash.”

Customer: “What! I paid $50 for that game 4 years ago!”

Me: “Yes, but it’s a little scratched. A few sequels have also come out since then.”

Customer: “I want at least $30 for it.”

Me: “If you were a customer, would you pay $30 for this old game?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then why would you expect anyone else to?”

(The customer stares at me dumbfounded. He then asks for his $3.)

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The Pen Is Mightier Than The Brain

| Reston, VA, USA | Right | March 14, 2011

Me: “Thank you for calling tech support. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I would like to change my desktop background. Can you help me?”

Me: “Sure, no problem. Are you on your desktop?”

Customer: “Yes, I am.”

Me: “Okay, I would like you to right click on the desktop.”

Customer: “You want me to right click?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Nothing is happening.”

Me: “That’s odd. Well, right click again. Let’s see if anything happens.”

Customer: “Nope, still nothing.”

Me: “Okay, let me come over to your desk. I will try to see what’s going on.”

(I walk over to the user’s desk. As I approach, I notice the user wrote the word ‘click’ twice on the monitor with a sharpie.)

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Guess Who Got The Lion’s Share Of The Stupid

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | March 14, 2011

(I am making my rounds in the Africa area. An American couple is standing in front of the lion compound. There is a clear sign stating it is an African lion.)

Tourist #1: “Excuse me, what animal is this?”

Me: “That would be a lion, ma’am.”

Tourist #2: “Oh, yes. We have them in Utah!”

Me: “Actually, sir, you have mountain lions in Utah. Not African lions.”

Tourist #1: “Then you should tell someone that mountain lions shouldn’t be in the Africa section!”

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We Are A Precipitation Mall Nation

| Fort Wayne, IN, USA | Right | March 14, 2011

(We are in the middle of a snow and ice storm that has shut down the city.)

Customer: “I cannot believe you guys are still open. The roads are really bad out there.”

Me: “Yes, I know. The roads are dangerous, but people must really enjoy shopping to take the time to visit the mall today.”

Customer: “I cannot believe that people are risking their lives to come out to the mall. You guys must be losing money staying open when no one is here.”

Me: “True, but as long as they keep coming we will stay open. What is it that I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Oh, I just need to do a return.”

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For Bad Parenting These Two Take The Cake

| Olathe, KS, USA | Right | March 14, 2011

(I am scanning a large birthday cake for an adult couple.)

Me: “Oh! Is it someone’s birthday today?”

Wife: “Yes! It’s our daughter’s tenth birthday today.”

Me: “Oh, that’s cool. My birthday’s not too far away either!”

Wife: “Really? How old will you be?”

Me: “Seventeen.”

Wife, to husband: “Oh, that was a good year. Do you remember what you did on your seventeenth birthday?”

Husband: “I don’t know. I drank seventeen beers!”

Wife: *laughs* “I’m pretty sure that my seventeenth birthday was the first day I did shrooms. But you look like a lot better kid than we were. I’m sure you won’t do any of that stuff,
right?”

Me: *pause* “That’s going to be $17.43, please.”

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