Archive for 2011

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There’s Safe And Then There’s Safer

| Pennsylvania, USA | Right | August 5, 2011

(Our college is located in one of the top three safest metropolitan areas in the US for a few years running. We’ve just checked-in a team of high school girls for a huge sports tournament.)

Chaperone: “There’s no way my team can stay here! Our rooms are motel-style. Anything could happen to our girls! How do I know they’ll be safe?”

Me: “Ma’am, we’ve never experienced any thefts or any other crimes at this hotel. This entire town is quite safe, I assure you.”

Chaperone: “That’s not good enough! How do you know nothing will happen?”

(I look down at the guest’s reservation to notice their team is from the Bronx.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, this isn’t exactly the Bronx.”

(The guest’s jaw drops. Not knowing what to say, she walks away and doesn’t complain again during her stay.)

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More Than Just A Brand

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Right | August 5, 2011

(A tourist approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, where is the coochie?”

Me: *confused* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Coochie. The store.”

Me: “Oh! You mean Gucci? It’s just a couple blocks–”

Customer: “No, no!”

(She points at Coach bag.)

Customer: “Coochie!”

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Not Always Right: Official Android App

| Android | Right | August 5, 2011

Introducing Not Always Right’s Official Android App!

Update: Now also available in a free, ad-supported version!

Easily view, share, and save all of the hilarious stories on your phone with the official app (requires Android 1.5 and up). You can even submit your own stories right from the app!

Features:
* Top stories – as voted by users just like you
* Recent stories – daily posts, straight from the site
* Random stories – practically infinite entertainment
* Saved stories – easily save your favorites stories for offline viewing
* Submit – upload your own stories right from the app
* Share – send stories to friends, family, and coworkers via Facebook, SMS, email, and more!

Get your app today!

Line Is Law

| British Columbia, Canada | Right | August 4, 2011

(I am working in a buffet-style restaurant where customers line up for the food.)

Supervisor: “Can you go refill the napkins? We’re all out.”

Me: “Sure.”

(I walk over to the line wearing my work uniform and my ID card prominently displayed.)

Me: “Excuse me, I just need to refill the napkins.”

Customer: “No problem.”

Customer #2: “Why the f*** does everyone keep cutting the line?”

Me: “Sir, I work here. I am just refilling the napkins.”

Customer #2: “Well, that is no excuse! If you work here, you should know to wait your turn!”

Related:
Two Points Make A Line, But Three People Don’t

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A State Of Mindlessness, Part 3

| Montana, USA | Right | August 4, 2011

(A customer with a thick Southern-US accent comes in, starts looking at me and frowns.)

Customer: “Hey, you.”

Me: “Hello, madam. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Do you understand me?”

Me: “Why, yes, I do.”

Customer: *sighs* “But my friend told me all you stupid hicks up here speak Spanish!”

Me: “Well, that’s a bit odd. We aren’t located anywhere near Mexico, Spain or anywhere in Europe.”

Customer: “Liar! Just so you know, I went to college and I know d*** well where this state is!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You b****! You ‘re a stupid hick who thinks she knows everything! I know d*** well where this state is!”

Me: “I’m quite certain Montana is located in the northwest corner of the USA.”

Customer: “Ugh! Make me teach the brainless rednecks! It’s not in the northwest, you dumb f***! It’s in the south, by the country Idaho!”

Me: *speechless*

(The customer rolls her eyes and storms out of the store.)

Related:
A State Of Mindlessness, Part 2
A State Of Mindlessness

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