Archive for 2011

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You Need The Male Order Catalogue

| Des Moines, IA, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at a retail store as a tech person. We also work the sales floor. A lady walks in and and I go over to help her.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you look for anything?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a husband.”

Me: “What does he look like?”

Customer: “No, I’m looking for a husband!”

Live Wires Are Stupid Magnets

| Wilmington, NC, USA | Extra Stupid

Customer: “Excuse me, I have these wires that are red, black, and white, coming out of my drywall in my garage. I touched them and they did not appear live. I need to do something with them so I can patch the wall.”

Me: “Okay, we can get some caps for you and some electrical tape. Just cap each one individually and wrap them individually with the tape and
you can tuck them back into the wall without any issues.”

Customer: “Should I test them to see if they are live? Should I touch them to my tongue?”

Me: “No!”

Schrödinger’s Whipped Cream

| Scranton, PA, USA | Uncategorized

(This customer orders a hot drink, which is served in a regular paper cup. You can’t see the drink through it.)

Customer: “I asked for whipped cream on my drink.”

Me: “I know. I made sure there was whipped cream.”

Customer: “But, I can’t see it.”

Me: “Well, that’s because it’s inside the cup.”

Customer: “Oh…”