Archive for 2011

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Stupidity As Clear As Sierra Mist

| Columbia, MO, USA | Right | August 9, 2011

(I’m working at the student dining hall on a busy Thanksgiving dinner as a supervisor. A student walks up with a glass of ice in hand.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but your Sierra Mist is out.”

Me: “Oh, no problem, ma’am. Let me go downstairs and I’ll take a look.”

(I walk downstairs and check the soda dispenser. The Sierra Mist is half-empty, but still functional. I tell her it should be fine. She comes back ten minutes later.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I asked you to fix the Sierra Mist and it is still not fixed.”

Me: “Ma’am, I just checked it and it’s full.”

Customer: “You’re lying. It isn’t working at all.”

(I walk over to the dispenser and place a cup underneath the Sierra Mist and out pours clear, bubbly Sierra Mist.)

Me: “See, ma’am? It’s just fine.”

Customer: “No! It’s clear! See? It’s clear! The bottle is green. Sierra Mist is green!”

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So Good It’s Not Even There, Part 2

| Essex, UK | Right | August 9, 2011

Customer: “I need a printer cable.”

Me: “Just a regular power cable?”

Customer: “No, not one of those. One to go from my printer to my laptop.”

Me: “Oh, you mean a USB cable?”

Customer: “Yeah, a USB cable, that’s it. That is wireless, yeah?”

Related:
So Good It’s Not Even There

The Joy Of Sex(ism), Part 4

| Nashville, TN, USA | Right | August 9, 2011

(Back in 1990, my mom worked at a coffee chain. She had never given incorrect change for the year she worked there. On her last day of work, a customer orders a $0.90 drink, and the total comes out to $0.99. He hands her a $1, leaves, and comes back 5 minutes later.)

Customer: “You b****, you gave me the wrong change!”

Cashier: “Well–”

Customer: *yelling* “I want to see the manager!”

Manager: *walks in* “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: “This dumba** woman gave me the wrong change! I gave her a $20 and she only gave me 1 cent back!”

Manager: *looking at cashier* “Give him $19 to make up the difference!”

Cashier: “But, he paid with a sing–”

Manager: “I said, give him back his money. God, women are so bad at math.”

(The cashier hands over the money. At the end of the day, she was fired for being exactly $19 short.)

Related:
The Joy Of Sex(ism), Part 3
The Joy Of Sex(ism), Part 2
The Joy Of Sex(ism)

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Has A Problem Espresso-ing Themself, Part 2

| Ann Arbor, MI, USA | Right | August 8, 2011

(I’m making a marshmallow latte at the pick-up end of the counter. The customer watches me as I make the drink.)

Customer: “Is this my mocha?”

Me: “It’s your drink, but it’s not a mocha. A mocha is a latte with chocolate. This is a latte with caramel and marshmallow. I can add chocolate if you’d like.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want chocolate. I just want my mocha!”

Me: “I can’t give you a mocha without chocolate. I think you mean latte. This is a latte.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want a latte! I want a mocha! You understand?”

Me: “Would you like me to make you a mocha instead of this, then?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t want a latte, and I don’t want chocolate. I just want espresso with steamed milk, caramel, and marshmallow. Just like I ordered!”

(By this point, the drink has been done for a while, exactly as described.)

Me: *staring at drink for a second* “Here’s your mocha.”

Customer: “Finally! Thank you!”

Related:
Has A Problem Espresso-ing Herself

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Rufus Is Stranger Than Fiction

| Slidell, LA, USA | Right | August 8, 2011

(I am a customer and overhear this conversation between two teenagers looking at the rodents.)

Girl: “Oh my gosh! Is that a bald rat?”

Boy: “You mean a hairless rat? Yeah.”

Girl: “They really have those?”

Boy: “Of course.”

Girl: “Wow! I thought those were only in Kim Possible!”

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