Archive for 2011

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Shooting The Message-less Messenger

| Montreal, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, you’ve reached Jen at [company].”

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi.”

Customer: “Who is this?”

Me: “Jen.”

Customer: “Jen?”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “F*** you.” *hangs up*

Does Your Sandwich Measure Up

| Canada | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(I am a 19 year old female worker in a sub shop. A 20-something customer comes in with his girlfriend.)

Customer: “So, you work at [sandwich shop]?”

Me: “Yea? Why?”

Customer: “So, you know how to handle a foot long eh?”

Me: “Yes, yes I do.”

Customer: “Oh, good, so you can handle me, eh?”

Me: *playing along* “I doubt you’re a footlong but, yeah, I guess.”

Customer’s girlfriend, to customer: “See! Even she knows you have a huge ego.”

(His girlfriend goes on to order a 6 inch sub. I make it and hand it to her.)

Customer’s girlfriend, to customer: “Well, this is more like it, eh, babe?”

Unlimited Cluelessness Plan

| NY, USA | Technology, Top

(A woman comes storming through the doors. She blasts by other customers who are waiting in line and slams her phone onto the counter.)

Me: “Is there something I can–”

Customer: “This phone you sold me is a piece of s***!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. What exactly is wrong with it?”

Customer: “It doesn’t work! I can’t get any calls on it!”

Me: “Let me take a look.”

(I pick up the phone and begin to examine it as the woman continues to rant and rave.)

Customer: “I paid a ridiculous amount of money for this thing! I can’t believe you would charge me so much for something that doesn’t even work! What is the world coming to? Have you no shame? Do you do this to all your customers?”

Me: “I think I see the problem, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yes? And?”

Me: “This is a TV remote.”

(All the other customers are watching, dead silent.)

Customer: *mutters* “I…I think I must have…grabbed the wrong…”

(She snatches her remote and flees the store. As soon as she disappears, the entire store bursts into laughter.)