Archive for 2011

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Artificial Turf Is Shelved Under Fiction

| Bergen, Norway | Right | August 17, 2011

Me: “Hi! How can I help you?”

Customer: “Do you sell artificial turf?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. Maybe you could try the DIY store next door.”

(For some reason, this response makes the customer very angry. I can practically see the smoke coming out of his ears.)

Customer: “Well, are you a bookstore or are you not?!”

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A Slippery Slimy Slope

| Detroit, MI, USA | Right | August 17, 2011

(I cashier at a food booth for a festival every year. One year, a customer comes up to order with a large stuffed animal of a blue clown fish sticking out of his jean pocket. He pulls the fish out of his pocket and points it at me.)

Customer: “Would you like to kiss my fish?”

Me: “Uh, no. Thank you.”

Customer: “Alright.”

(At the moment, my little sister is sitting next to me doing some work. He then points to my sister, who isn’t paying attention.)

Customer: “Does she want to kiss my fish?”

Me: “Uh, no, she definitely doesn’t.”

Customer: “Haha, okay.”

(He takes his food and leaves.)

In Case Of Emergency, Use Brain

, | Hanover, Germany | Right | August 17, 2011

(I’m working in the insurance field service. One of many things I have to deal with is containing damages on the telephone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [insurance company]. How may I assist you?”

Customer: “My house is burning!”

Me: *confused* “Your house is burning?”

Customer: “My house is burning! What should I do?”

Me: “Have you called the fire department?”

Customer: “No, I thought the insurance wanted to see the damage before–” *disconnects*

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NAR Android App: Free Version Now Available!

| Android | Right | August 16, 2011

Introducing Not Always Right’s Official Android App: Free Version!

We’ve listened to your comments loud and clear, and we’re happy to announce that the official Not Always Right Official Android App is now available in a free, ad-supported version!

With the same important features as the paid version, this is a great alternative for those of you on a tight budget. PS — if you prefer an ad-free experience, get the paid version of the app here.

Having Funion With Food

, | York County, ME, USA | Right | August 16, 2011

Me: “Any veggies on your sandwich?”

Customer: *mumbles*

(I think I hear “onions” and reach for them.)

Customer: “No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! No onions, no onions, no, no, NO!”

Me: “I’m sorry, no onions then. What did you say?”

Customer: *repeats veggie order*

(I get to ringing her up and she begins to apologize.)

Customer: “I’m sorry if I startled you.”

Me: “Oh, it’s okay.”

Customer: “It’s just…I don’t like onions.”

Me: “It’s really okay.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. You would have had to remake my sandwich. I hate onions! They make me want to vomit! Vomit everywhere!”

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