(We sell, among other things, cards for a popular trading card game. A customer walks in, walks directly to the counter, and pulls a few cards out of his pocket.)
Customer: “I’d like to purchase these, please.”
Me: “I’m sorry, purchase? Don’t you mean sell?”
Customer: “Yeah, I didn’t have the money at the time. However, I didn’t want anybody else to get them, so I just left with them. I’d like to pay for them now, thanks.”
Customer: “I need help, anyone!”
Me: *rushing over* “What seems to be the problem, sir?”
Customer: “That TV is showing bad things!”
(The TV in question is playing movie trailers on loop.)
Me: “Which trailer did you find offensive?”
Customer: “The one with the girl that is saying the girl is perfect! Nobody’s perfect!”
(At that moment, a trailer for a new Barbie movie comes on.)
Customer: *screaming* “That’s the bad movie!”
This story is part of the Barbie-themed roundup!
Read the next Barbie-themed roundup story!
Read the Barbie-themed roundup!
(It has been a quiet morning but the store has been filling up and it is very loud. My ears haven’t quite adjusted yet.)
Me: “Hi, how are you?”
(I begin scanning and bagging her items.)
Customer: *mumbling*
Me: “Did you find everything okay?”
(The customer mumbles again and then begins singing something unintelligible. We play music in the store, so I think she is singing along.)
Customer: *gradually increasing in volume* “No bag… no bag… NO bag… NO BAG!”
Me: “I’m sorry, are you singing, ‘No bag’?”
Customer: “Well, I told you a couple of times, but you went ahead and started bagging, so I decided to sing it!”
This story is part of the singing silliness roundup!
Read the next singing silliness roundup story!
Read the singing silliness roundup!
Me: “Hi, this is [computer repair]. How may I help you today?”
Customer: “Hi, I think there’s a problem with my computer. I was online and lots of windows started popping up. Then, it locked up and I couldn’t do anything.”
Me: “That sounds like it has a virus. Just don’t touch it. Bring it in, and we’ll take a look at it, okay?”
Customer: “Oh no! I’ll be down shortly.”
(About thirty minutes later, a woman comes in with a disgusted and terrified look on her face. She is carrying her computer in a black trash bag.)
Customer: *hands me bag with outstretched hands* “Here, take it!”
Me: “Why is it in a black trash bag?”
Customer: “I didn’t want to catch the virus!”
(Two girls are walking up to my register with a large quantity of beer.)
Girl #1: “I know it sucks, but you have to remember that we have to live in the real world now.”
Girl #2: “I know. I think I might hate the real world.”
(I check their IDs and tell them the total. The girl paying hands me her college charge card.)
Me: “You do realize that in the real world, your parents don’t buy your alcohol, right?”
