Archive for 2011

Jump to page:

One Good Takeout Deserves Another

| New York, NY, USA | Food & Drink, Holidays, Top

(A few years ago, around noon on Christmas day, several dozen Chinese people walked in to our Kosher deli-style restaurant, apparently in a group. One walked up to the front desk.)

Man: *softly* “Is it okay if we’re here?”

Hostess: “Yes, we serve everyone, but are you sure you’re in the right place?”

Man: “This is [Restaurant], right?”

Hostess: “Yes, sir, it is.”

Man: “Well, we figured since you Jews are all coming to our restaurants tonight, we’d return the favor.”

Hostess: *slightly shocked* “Thanks. Right this way… We’ll seat you!”

(…and they’ve been back every year since!)

Intelligence May Vary

| Lancaster, PA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “How much are the belly-button rings?”

Me: “The prices vary depending on the style. I’d have to check if you’re interested in a specific one.”

(The girl walks over to her mom in an aisle within earshot.)

Mom: “How much are they?”

Customer: “She said they vary.”

Mom: “What is that supposed to mean? That I can’t afford them?!”

Waiting For Opportuniteas

| Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

(I am making a lot of drinks. I place a drink on the counter and shout “green iced tea” so the owner of the drink can pick it up. A woman sitting with her husband at one of the tables, without any drinks, speaks up.)

Customer: “Is that a free iced tea?”

Me: “Green.”

Customer: “No, is that a free iced tea?”

Me: *enunciating* “Green.”

Customer: “Oh, sorry, I thought you said free, like someone had left it. I was like ‘I’ll take it!” *laughs*

Me: “What was your drink?”

Customer: “Oh, we didn’t order drinks. We were just sitting here…”