(A customer comes in with a DVD player and several DVD movies.)
Customer: “My DVD player is not working properly. I borrowed some DVDs from a friend, and some of them aren’t playing in color.”
Me: “Which ones are you having the troubles with?”
Customer: “These.” *points at a bunch of black and white movies*
(Every item in our store is one dollar.)
Customer: “Excuse me, I need help with your Christmas ties. I can’t get them to work.”
(The ties in question play music when you press the button.)
Me: “Of course, ma’am. All you have to do is press the button firmly and hold for two seconds. The button isn’t super sensitive to light presses to avoid the music playing from an accidental press.”
(I show the customer the difference between lightly pushing and intentionally pushing the button.)
Customer: *lightly pushes the button* “See, these don’t work!”
Me: “Ma’am, just press and hold the button for two seconds.”
(I demonstrate again in case she hadn’t seen it the first time.)
Customer: *pushes button several times very quickly* “You must be lying to me. It still doesn’t work!”
Me: “Ma’am, all you have to do is push the button once and hold it for two seconds.”
Customer: *pushes and holds button* “Finally! These aren’t very good quality, are they?!”
(Another customer who has been listening from the next aisle speaks up.)
Customer #2: “Ugh, lady, you’re in a dollar store! It’s a Christmas tie. You press the button for two seconds and it plays music. It costs a dollar. What more do you want?!”
This story is part of the Unrealistic-Expectations roundup!
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Read the Unrealistic-Expectations roundup!
(We are gathered around an otter exhibit at the aquarium.)
Father: “What’s the otter’s name?”
Son: “Buddy!”
Father: “You call everybody ‘Buddy’, buddy!”
This story is included in our Aquarium roundup!
(My boyfriend and I are driving. He has helped me to grow as a person, and I am trying to express that to him. I am notoriously unromantic.)
Me: “Thank you, so much.”
Boyfriend: “For what, honeysuckle?”
Me: “Everything. Before you came into my life, I was a lost puppy. You have helped me grow into an amazing person.”
Boyfriend: “Aw, that’s sweet!”
(He has a big smile one his face.)
Me: “I truly feel like you are the other half of me, the one that makes my world go round. The one that I want to see first thing in the morning, and all that crap.”
(He starts laughing.)
Boyfriend: “You almost had it, babe.”
Me: “You know it was honest, right?”
(The prepaid phones we sell are displayed on a wall, with their price printed next to each phone.)
Customer: “Hey mate, how much is that phone there?”
Me: *glancing at pricing card* “One hundred fifty-nine dollars.”
Customer: “Can you do it for one sixty?”
Me: *speechless*
Customer: *looks at me expectantly*
Me: “Sure, why not?”
