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Honesty Among Thieves

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Right | December 27, 2010

(A couple walks in and sets off the alarm. It is store policy to ask if they have just bought anything and suggest they go back to have it desensitized.)

Me: “Hi. Did you happen to just buy something that might have set off the alarm?”

Customer: “No, we just stole a boatload of stuff next door and are coming in here now.”

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That Request Will Never Fly

, | USA | Right | December 27, 2010

(We hit a bit of turbulence. The ‘Fasten Seatbelt’ light goes on, and the captain comes on the intercom to tell us all to stay seated and buckled in. Shortly after this, a woman hits her call light. I come on over.)

Me: *bracing myself on the seat across the row* “Yes, ma’am?”

Passenger: “Could I have a glass of water, please?”

Me: “Ma’am, the captain has asked us to all stay seated for our safety.”

Passenger: “But I wouldn’t be getting up!”

Me: “Ma’am, the captain has asked us ALL to stay seated for our safety.”

Passenger: “Oh! You too?”

(As I turn to head back to my seat I overhear her talking to the passenger next to her.)

Passenger: “But I’ve seen them moving around in all sorts of weather…”

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Common Sense On The Decline(d)

| Canada | Right | December 27, 2010

Caller: “My credit card was declined and I want to know why! I’ve never been so embarrassed! I will be canceling my credit card with your f***ing bank as soon as I make this last transaction!”

(After properly identifying the customer, being yelled at for having to ask security questions and looking through the account, I find the answer.)

Me: “The purchase did not go through today because you requested a hold on your account last week when you left your credit card at a shopping mall.”

Caller: “Are you suggesting I’m stupid? I know I asked for a hold, but wouldn’t you incompetent people realize I must have my credit card if I am attempting a purchase?”

(I remain silent as the customer realizes what they have just said.)

Caller: “Oh!”

Me: “Is there anything else I can do to help you today?”

Caller: *click*

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Not So Smart-Phone, Part 2

| IN, USA | Right | December 27, 2010

Caller: “How do I make a call from this touch-screen phone? I can’t figure it out.”

Me: “Are you calling from the device?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Repeat what you did, but with a different number.”

Related:
Not So Smart-Phone

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7

| Seattle, WA, USA | Right | December 27, 2010

Caller: “Hi, I saw a car online and wanted some info on it.”

Me: “Sure, let me tell you all about it. Do you have a pen?”

Caller: “Yeah, 4351.”

Me: “What’s that?”

Caller: “My PIN.”

Me: “To your bank account?!”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
This Is Why We’re In A Recession

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