(A couple walks in and sets off the alarm. It is store policy to ask if they have just bought anything and suggest they go back to have it desensitized.)
Me: “Hi. Did you happen to just buy something that might have set off the alarm?”
Customer: “No, we just stole a boatload of stuff next door and are coming in here now.”
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Caller: “How do I make a call from this touch-screen phone? I can’t figure it out.”
Me: “Are you calling from the device?”
Caller: “Yes.”
Me: “Repeat what you did, but with a different number.”
Related:
Not So Smart-Phone
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Caller: “Hi, I saw a car online and wanted some info on it.”
Me: “Sure, let me tell you all about it. Do you have a pen?”
Caller: “Yeah, 4351.”
Me: “What’s that?”
Caller: “My PIN.”
Me: “To your bank account?!”
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Caller: “My credit card was declined and I want to know why! I’ve never been so embarrassed! I will be canceling my credit card with your f****** bank as soon as I make this last transaction!”
(After properly identifying the customer, being yelled at for having to ask security questions, and looking through the account, I find the answer.)
Me: “The purchase did not go through today because you requested a hold on your account last week when you left your credit card at a shopping mall.”
Caller: “Are you suggesting I’m stupid? I know I asked for a hold, but wouldn’t you incompetent people realize I must have my credit card if I am attempting a purchase?”
(I remain silent as the customer realizes what they have just said.)
Caller: “Oh!”
Me: “Is there anything else I can do to help you today?”
Caller: *click*
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(We hit a bit of turbulence. The ‘Fasten Seatbelt’ light goes on, and the captain comes on the intercom to tell us all to stay seated and buckled in. Shortly after this, a woman hits her call light. I come on over.)
Me: *bracing myself on the seat across the row* “Yes, ma’am?”
Passenger: “Could I have a glass of water, please?”
Me: “Ma’am, the captain has asked us to all stay seated for our safety.”
Passenger: “But I wouldn’t be getting up!”
Me: “Ma’am, the captain has asked us ALL to stay seated for our safety.”
Passenger: “Oh! You, too?”
(As I turn to head back to my seat I overhear her talking to the passenger next to her.)
Passenger: “But I’ve seen them moving around in all sorts of weather…”
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