Archive for 2010

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Saigon, And Thanks For The Memories

| Long Island, NY, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “How can I help you today, sir?”

Customer: “I’m looking for light weight shirts, I’m going on vacation!”

Me: “Well, that’s very exciting. Where to?”

Customer: “Vietnam. Haven’t been to that d*** place in over forty years!”

Me: “Wow, sir. That must be quite a bit for you.”

Customer: “You bet. At least I know I’ll only be shooting a camera this time!”

Dummy Request

| Fort Collins, CO, USA | Uncategorized

(We have dummy displays set up of all the phones we sell.)

Me: “Hello sir, can I help you with a new cell phone today?”

Customer: “No. I’m just looking for a new battery for my phone.”

Me: “Sorry, but we don’t carry batteries for cell phones. You might try the battery store across the street.”

Customer: “How much to buy one of the displays?”

Me: “Well those are just dummy phones.”

Customer: “I know that. I just want to take the battery from it.”

Even Vampires Don’t Want That ‘Blood’

| Hayward, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(This at the DVD release of the Twilight Movie, two men approach the desk. They are Caucasian.)

Customer #1: “Hey lend me some money, I wanna buy this movie!”

Customer #2: “Naw, get your own cash!”

Customer #1: “C’mon, this movie got leprechauns!”

Customer #2: “Dang, I ain’t gonna give you no cash!”

Customer #1: “Man you spoozy!”

(Customer #1 walks off, returns with Twilight.)

Customer #1: “C’mon! It’s on sale! Jus’ lend me 20!”

Customer #2: “Alright fine, take it.”

Customer #1: *looking at me* “Eh man, know what this movie’s about?”

Me: “Well–”

Customer #2: *pointing at the characters on the cover* “This one’s a vampire, and this b**** don’t know ’bout it!”