Customer: “I will take one of these.” *points to a small white microwave oven*
Me: “Certainly, sir. Come right this way.”
(The customer goes to the checkout counter and pays for goods.)
Customer: “So, will I need an antenna for this?”
This story is part of the Microwave Oven roundup!
Read the next Microwave Oven roundup story!
Read the Microwave Oven roundup!
Customer: “Please connect me to the Dental Clinic. I need a hysterectomy.”
Me: “Are you sure you want the Dental Clinic? They don’t do hysterectomies there.”
Customer: “Just connect me. I think I have that part of the body figured out by now.”
This story is part of our Weird Words roundup!
Read the next Weird Words roundup story!
Read the Weird Words roundup!
Customer: “How do I send a picture from my phone?”
Me: “I can definitely help out. Is the picture in your inbox or in your images?”
Customer: “Images.”
Me: “Great. Highlight the image you want to send, press the Options key, and select Send as MMS.”
Customer: “Why the h*** do I have to do all the work?”
This story is part of our Lazy Customers roundup!
Read the next Lazy Customers roundup story!
Read the Lazy Customers roundup!
Me: “Thank you for calling [Library]. How may I be of assistance?”
Caller: “Yeah, my son said he wanted to check out some CDs. Do you guys have CDs?”
Me: “Of course. Can you tell me what type of CD he’s looking for?”
Caller: “What do you mean?”
Me: “I mean is he looking for audiobooks, computer games, music?”
Caller: “I don’t understand.”
Me: “I’m sorry, let me be more clear. Did he want–”
Caller: “No, I mean I don’t understand what you said before.”
Me: “I was just asking if you knew what type of CD he was looking for. Like audiobooks, or music, or–”
Caller: “Wait, what’s that?”
Me: “What’s what?”
Caller: “That thing you just said.”
Me: “What, music?”
Caller: “Yeah, what’s that?”
Me: “Good afternoon, this is [Cellphone Store]. How may I help you?”
Customer: “I came into your store today and you sold me a defective phone!”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir. What is your full name and phone number so I can pull up your account?”
Customer: *gives information*
Me: “Okay, thanks. I see you bought a [phone]. What seems to be the problem?
Customer: “The keyboard on this piece of s*** won’t come out!”
Me: “Have you tried sliding it the other way?”
*really long pause*
Customer: “Well thanks a lot, b****! Now you made me feel like a f****** idiot!” *click*
This story is part of the American States roundup!
