Customer: “Hi, I’m here for the immunization clinic.”
Me: “Sir, this is a bingo hall.”
Customer: “You’re mistaken. The people at the hospital told me to come here.”
Me: “Sorry, sir, this is a bingo hall. I don’t know why they would tell you to come here.”
Customer: “What are those people doing here then?” *points at the people playing bingo*
Me: “They’re playing bingo, sir.”
Customer: “You’re lying to me! You just want me to die!”
Customer: “I think my dog is allergic to this food I bought here.”
Me: “That’s too bad. Would you like to exchange it for another kind?”
Customer: “It’s the fish in it. I thought fish was good for dogs.”
Me: “It is unless they are allergic to it; every dog is different. Why don’t you try this one? It has duck in it.”
Customer: “Duck? Duck is fish!”
Me: “No, it’s not.”
Customer: “Well, what is it, then?”
Me: “Ducks are birds.”
Customer: “But they go in the water!”
This story is part of our Stupid Pet Owners roundup!
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(A customer who has just made a purchase comes back into our store asking for help; she’s locked her keys in her car. I go out to try and help.)
Me: “Ma’am, your window is open.”
Customer: “What?”
Me: “Your window. It’s open.”
(The customer reaches in and gets her keys, opens the door, rolls up the window, locks the car, throws the keys back inside, and closes the door.)
Me: “Um…”
Customer: “I know! I know! It’s just that I already called my husband to bring the second set! He’d have given me h*** if he saw the window was open!”
This story is part of the American States roundup!
Customer: “Two for [Movie].”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t have that film at this theater.”
Customer: “Why don’t you have it?”
Me: “I’m not sure. The decisions on where to play the films are made by corporate.”
Customer: “But I’m here and I want to watch that movie.”
Me: “Well, I can sell you a ticket to another movie.”
Customer: “But I want to see that one! Can’t you just go get it? I’ll wait here.”
(I am shelving DVDs in a library when a man comes in with a boy who appears to be autistic. The boy sees a movie about Thanksgiving.)
Boy: “Thanksgiving! I love Thanksgiving! I’m thankful… I’m thankful for… I’m thankful for my friends at school!”
Caretaker: “You’re thankful for your friends at school?”
Boy: “Yeah! Yeah, and… and… what are you thankful for? Are you thankful for your friends?”
Caretaker: *no response*
Boy: “Are you thankful for me?”
Caretaker: “I’m thankful for you, kid. I’m more thankful for you than all my friends in the world.”
Boy: *smiles*
This story is part of our Thanksgiving roundup!
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This story is part of our Autism roundup!
