(I sell cable TV packages, and talk the caller through set-up. Our service offers a service where you can record programs and pause and rewind TV.)
Caller: “And can it fast-forward live TV?”
Me: “Um, no, it can’t.”
Caller: “I would have thought it could, since it can pause and rewind live TV.”
Me: “Fast-forwarding live TV is a bit different.”
Caller: “Forget I said that.”
(A customer approaches the service counter.)
Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Is this the real life?”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “Is this just fantasy?”
Me: *catching on* “Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.”
Customer: “D*** it! I was trying to prank you! You shouldn’t know what I’m doing!”
Me: “Doesn’t really matter to me, to meeee.”
Customer: “F*** you!” *storms off*
This story is part of the Pranks roundup!
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Read the Pranks roundup!
(A man comes up to me with a huge bag.)
Customer: “Can I ask an odd question?”
Me: “Go for it.”
Customer: “Would it be okay for me to put my fox costume on and stand in the foyer?”
Me: “Why?”
Customer: “Just for pleasure. I enjoy doing it and the customers would enjoy seeing it.”
Me: “I’ll just check with my manager.”
(I phone the manager and repeat the request. The manager laughs for a few minutes and says no.)
Me: “I’m afraid my manager has said it’s not okay.”
Customer: *looks down sadly* “It’s okay. They said no everywhere else I asked too.” *walks away sadly, dragging the bag with his fox costume in*
This story is part of our Weird Customers roundup!
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Read the Weird Customer roundup!
(This is when Avatar has just come out on DVD.)
Customer: “Do you have any copies of that new Avatar movie?”
Me: “Sorry, it looks like it’s not available anywhere right now. I could call you when a copy comes in if you like.”
Customer: “You didn’t check the backroom. Do you have any there?”
Me: “No, we don’t keep movies in the back. Company policy says we have to have all available copies on the shelf.”
Customer: “So, why don’t you have any on the shelf?”
Me: “Because we’re all checked out. There are none present at this store or any other in this area. It’s an extremely popular movie since it just came out a few days ago. We have no more copies at any nearby store.”
Customer: “Why not?”
Me: “Well, they all got checked out by other people.”
Customer: “Well, why the h*** did you let them do that? What kind of video store lets people just take whatever movie they want?!”
This story is part of the Entitled Customers roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!
10 Sad-But-True Stories About Customers Who Don’t Treat Employees Like They’re Human
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Read the Entitled Customers roundup!
Customer: “Excuse me, miss, do you have those movies on circles?”
Me: “Do you mean DVDs?”
Customer: “Yes, that’s it, VDVs. Do you have those?”
Me: “Yes, right over here.”
(I leave the customer to browse and she comes back with a stack of DVDs to borrow).
Customer: “They’re good aren’t they, VDVs?”
Me: “Yes, they are. Very clear.”
Customer: “Yes, I love them. I can’t believe I waited so long to get a nice VD player.”
(I finish the loans and hand the customer her DVDs. As she’s leaving she sees a friend walking in).
Customer: “Oh! Cynthia! You need to come over for coffee. I finally got a VD!”
This story is part of our Old People & Technology roundup.
