Archive for 2009

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Brawn Over Brains

| Virginia, USA | Uncategorized

(One day at the fitness club I manage, I am called to the front desk of our gym to answer a question for a member.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [fitness club]. Can I help you?”

Gym member: “Yes, I was wondering if you can teach me to do what they are doing?”

(The customer gestures to our pool, which has been emptied due to a crack and has several repairmen on the floor trying to fix it.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Teach you to do what?”

Gym member: “To walk on the bottom of the pool like that.”

Me: “Sir, those gentlemen are repairmen. They are fixing a crack in the pool floor.”

Gym member: “Oh, so you have to be a repairman to learn how to walk underwater like that?!”

Home Of The Disclaimer

| Detroit, MI, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “…and I’d like extra tomatoes on my sandwich, please.”

Me: “All right, that’ll be [price].”

Customer: “Why is it so expensive?!”

Me: “Well ma’am, you asked for cheese, bacon, and extra tomatoes. All those cost extra on the sandwich because they’re expensive products.”

Customer: “But your policy says that I can have it my way! Why am I being charged?!”

Me: “You can have it your way…you just have to pay for it.”

Thanks For Shopping At Quadruped, Inc.

| Springfield, MO, USA | Uncategorized

(I witnessed this interaction between a girl and her dad.)

Dad: “Are you as picky about your toilet paper as your ex-step mom was?”

Girl: “No, not really.”

Dad: “OK, grab one of those then.”

(The girl reaches for a pack that’s on its side.)

Dad: “No, no, not that one. I want one that hasn’t been touched by human hands!”

Girl: “Are you saying the store employees aren’t human?”

Dad: “Well, you’ve seen them…you be the judge.”

(I had to walk off so they wouldn’t hear me laughing.)