Archive for 2009

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When In Rome (Or An Indian Restaurant)…

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Me: “Did you enjoy your meal?”

Customer: “No, the madras was hot.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry it wasn’t to your liking, but madras is a hot dish.”

Customer: “No, no it’s not. Madras is a mild dish. It’s mild.”

Me: “Okay, but if I check with the chef, he’ll tell me we serve it as a hot dish.”

Customer: “What would he know? He’s Indian! What would he know about curry?”

When In Rome (Or A Kosher Deli)

Good Service, To A Point

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Customer: “I want to return this knife! The lady I bought this from put this sticky stuff around the blade.”

Me: “Ma’am, all of our knives have the protective seal to keep you from getting cut.”

Customer: “No way! I saw her; she put this on there! I want a different one!”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re free to choose another knife but, as you can see, they all have the protective seal on them.”

Customer: “Well, this is ridiculous – how do you get this off?! You do it for me!”

(I take the seal off and hand it back to her.)

Customer: “But look at this! It’s left this sticky residue!”

Me: “It washes off easily, actually.”

Customer: “I don’t want to wash anything! That’s stupid!”

Me: “Don’t you wash your knives before you use them?”

Customer: “DON’T get smart with me! This is a horrible way to sell a knife.”

Me: “So, we should sell the knives without a seal or any kind of protection?”

Customer: “YES! Exactly! It’ll make using it at home easier!”

At Least It Got A Spot-Free Rinse

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Me: “Welcome to ****! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, my keyboard won’t work.”

Me: “Okay sir, what happened?”

Customer: “Well, it got dirty, so I ran it through the dishwasher.”

Me: “You what?”

Customer: “Ran it through the dishwasher. I did it once before and it worked. So, can I get a new one?”