Me: “Thank you for calling [Phone Company]. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “Um, yeah, my phone stopped working. I need you guys to fix that for me.”

Me: “Certainly, sir. May I ask what exactly is the problem?”

Caller: “Well, the Internet on my phone quit working a few days ago.”

Me: “Okay, I can definitely help you out with that. I do need your mobile phone number, please…”

(The customer gives me his number, and I discover that his phone is not compatible with the Internet plan on his account. Furthermore, he can not change it because the account is not in his name.)

Me: “…okay, so you understand why we cannot change that, right?”

Caller: “Yeah, I guess so. Thanks anyway, man.”

Me: “Not a problem, sir. Thank you very much for choosing [Phone Company]. You have a wonderful day, sir.”

(This is where things get interesting. Instead of hanging up, I immediately hear the following…)

Female Voice: “Aw, baby, what’s wrong?”

Caller: “This f****** douchebag won’t fix my god-d*** phone! I’ve had this d***ed thing for three years, never had a problem with it, now this f*** wont help me out!”

Me: “Excuse me, sir? You never actually hung up the phone. Might I suggest we do that now before anything else is said?”

Caller: *brief pause* “…oh, my God! I am so sorry! Oh, my God, sir, please don’t turn off my phone! PLEASE!”

Me: “Not a problem. Just please remember to hang up the phone, okay?”

(I wait for him to hang up a second time, but again, he doesn’t…)

Caller: “I can’t believe that f****** p***k stayed on the phone! What was he trying to do?! A**hole! I mean, can’t he freaking help a guy out?!”

Female Voice: *quietly* “I think you’re on speakerphone…”

Me: “Excuse me, sir? You forgot to hang up again.”

Caller: “S***! GIMME A BREAK!” *click*

Customer: “I want a mocha.”

Me: “Okay, what size would you like?”

Customer: “The biggest one. No froth on top, either.”

(He pays and walks off. Assuming froth meant foam, which mochas don’t get anyway, I hand the cup to my coworker as she makes the drink. The customer returns as she finishes the mocha, adding the whipped cream on top.)

Customer: “I said no froth! Froth is too girly!”

Coworker: “It’s just whipped cream. I can scoop it off if you want.”

Customer: “Nah… you can leave it on there. I just won’t tell anyone it’s in my drink!”

This story is part of our International Women’s Day roundup!

Read the next International Women’s Day roundup story!

Read the International Women’s Day roundup!

Me: *on the phone* “Thank you for calling [Company] Airlines. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “How much would it cost for my dog to travel with me?”

Me: “It’s $50 per leg.”

Customer: “Oh, she only has three legs, so how much would that cost?”

Me: “…that’s $50 per leg, as in travel segments.”

Customer: “Oh… Thank you.” *hangs up*

Did you find this story using our Airline Staff roundup?

Click here to get back to it!

Click here to see the next story.

Me: “Is that it for you tonight, ma’am?”

Girl: “Nah, can I get a pack of cigarettes?”

Me: “Sure. Can I see your ID?”

Girl: “Ya know in high school, when we learned about the Boston Tea Party?”

Me: “Yeah…?”

Girl: “Well, they raised taxes on the tea, and they threw it in the harbor.”

Me: “Yeah, I remember.”

Girl: “Well, they just upped the taxes on the smokey treats… What’re WE gonna do about it?”

Me: “I dunno. What do you think?”

Girl: “Well, I don’t know. You’re the gas station lady; figured you’d have the answers.”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t smoke.”

Girl: “I PROTEST YOU, THEN! I’M NOT GETTING ANYTHING HERE EVER AGAIN!” *stomps off*

(I’m working the returns desk when a man comes in carrying a half-assembled bookshelf and its box and slams it on my counter.)

Me: “Hi, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’ve had it with this.”

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I’ve spent six hours. SIX HOURS! I’m trying to get this together; my kids are crying because it doesn’t look cool. I’ve tried it every way, and I’m not incapable, but this is impossible!”

Me: “Hmm, it looks like some of the pieces were manufactured wrong. This appears to be upside down and this one the holes aren’t on the right side.”

Customer: “That’s not the problem. The problem is someone pissed off an employee in China and he’s taking it out on me!”