Archive for 2009

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While We’re At It, Let’s Find Your Lost Marbles Too

| | Right | May 6, 2009

(I’m a cashier at a grocery story and recently lost my voice. I just cashed out the following customer…)

Customer, to supervisor: “She was very rude! She didn’t speak to me once during the order!”

Supervisor: “I apologize for the inconvenience, ma’am, but this cashier has lost her voice.”

Customer: *totally serious* “Oh. Are you looking for it?”

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What’s A Few Years Hard Labor Anyway

, | | Right | May 6, 2009

(Note: I work in the call center of a major insurance company.)

Customer: “I just received this form…what does it mean?”

Me: “That is letting you know how much interest income you received last year that we reported to the IRS.”

Customer: “But, I don’t want the IRS to know!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’re legally obligated to report that information to the IRS.”

Customer: “Do you do everything the government tells you to?!”

Me: “Umm…yes?”

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Ultra Short Term Memory

| | Right | May 6, 2009

Caller: “I forgot the password for my computer. Can you help?”

Me: “Sure, let me just get your account information and you can enter a new password.”

Caller: *gives me her information*

Me: “Okay, you can enter a new password now.”

Caller: “Okay, done.”

Me: “Well, tha–”

Caller: “S***! I forgot it again!”

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Sticky, Tricky and Picky

| | Right | May 6, 2009

(I was working in Customer Service, and a woman walked up with a Nintendo DS and her receipt. She had our protection plan purchased, so I sent her to one of the agents to take a look at it. The following conversation took place.)

Agent: “Hello ma’am, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need you to take a look at my son’s DS. It isn’t working anymore.”

Agent: “Well, let’s see here.” *opens the DS and clears his throat* “Uh, ma’am? There’s jelly in here…”

Customer: “Oh! I know! My son was playing his DS while eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and dropped it on the DS. Is it unfixable? Am I going to have to get a new one? Can I get a DSi instead?”

Agent: “We can’t do anything for it, actually.”

Customer: *starting to get angry* “Why not?”

Agent: “This protection plan does not cover accidental damage.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I am not paying for another DS! You’re doing something for me!”

Agent: “I’m sorry, but I can’t. Like I said before, we don’t cover anything accidental.”

Customer: “Then I did it on purpose! Will you fix it now?!”

Agent: *sliding the DS back to the customer* “No…”

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Over The Gray, Bland Rainbow

| | Right | May 6, 2009

Customer: “Something is wrong with this movie – the box said it was in color, but it’s black and white.”

Me: “Haven’t you ever seen The Wizard of Oz before?”

Customer: “No, but it says ‘color’ on the box.”

Me: “The beginning is in black and white – it will turn to color.”

Customer: “Well, that’s just stupid.”

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