Archive for 2009

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A Man Of Many Faces, All Of Them Dumb

| Dallas, TX, USA | Top

(I had lost my entire wallet just a week prior. A customer approaches my check stand. He has an 18-pack of beer on the belt, and he looks about 20 years old.)

Me: *ringing him up* “ID, please.”

Customer: “You got it!”

(The customer pulls out a wallet that looks exactly like mine, broken chain and all. He then proceeds to show me my own ID.)

Me: *taking my wallet back from him* “Two problems with this.”

Customer: “What the h***, man?!”

Me: “First off, this is MY ID; MY wallet. Secondly, I’m not 21, and neither is this thing.”

Customer: *runs out of the store*

When You Know You Need Better Glasses Or Better Handwriting

| Augusta, GA, USA | Uncategorized

(In taking a call, I ask a customer to read me some numbers from her hardware in order to access her account.)

Customer: “3-7-V…”

Me: *repeating* “3-7-V.”

Customer: “3-7-V!”

Me: *thinking I’ve misheard, correcting* “3-7-B?”

Customer: “3-7-V!”

Me: “…3-7-V? ‘V’ like ‘Victor’?”

Customer: “3-7-V! V! ‘V’ like ‘umbrella’!”

When You’re Always Right, The Earth Revolves Around You

, | Kennesaw, GA, USA | Uncategorized

(While working at the drive-thru window early one morning, a woman starts talking to me as I am waiting on her food.)

Customer: “Can you name 7 planets?”

Me: “Uh…I can name 9, if you want to include Pluto…” *names the planets*

Customer: “What about the sun?”

Me: “The sun is a star.”

Customer: “Oh. What about the moon?”

Me: “The moon is our natural satellite…”

Customer: “Huh. But it doesn’t move.”

Me: “The moon revolves around the Earth.”

Customer: “But the moon doesn’t move. I can see it right now.”

Me: *hands her her food* “OK ma’am…have a nice day.”