Archive for 2009

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I Find Your Lack Of T-shirts Disturbing

| San Diego, CA, USA | Geeks Rule, Top

(Note: I’m selling t-shirts at Comic Con in San Diego. Two men are dressed as Star Wars characters come to my booth.)

Jedi #1: “Man, these shirts are all great. I don’t know how I’ll pick.”

Coworker: “Well, they are two for $35, so you can get any two you like.”

Jedi #2: “Is there any deal for three?”

Coworker: “Nope, just by twos.”

(Suddenly, the second Jedi activates his light-up light saber and speaks in an angry, menacing tone.)

Jedi #2: “How about now?!”

A Real Life Game Of Telephone

| Lethbridge, AB, Canada | Top

Me: “Hi, I’m calling on behalf of [power company]. I’m conducting a survey about your electrical service.”

Guy: “You’re disconnecting a what?”

Me: “I’m conducting a survey.”

Guy: “What kind of survey?”

Me: “It’s about your electrical service.”

Guy: “Are you shutting off my electricity?”

Me: “No, everything’s fine. I’m just conducting a survey to find out if you’re satisfied with your service.”

Guy: “You’re disconnecting a what?”

Me: “Conducting a survey–”

Guy, to his wife: “You didn’t pay the bill and now they’re cutting off our lights!”

Wife: “I paid the d*** bill!”

Guy: “My wife says she paid the bill! Why are you cutting off my service if the bill’s been paid?”

Me: “Your service isn’t being cut off. I’m conducting a survey.”

Guy: “Disconnecting a what?”

Me: *very slowly* “Conducting a survey…”

Guy, to his wife: “They’re disconnecting our survey! You paid the bill late!”

Wife: “No, I didn’t! Get off my case!”

Me: “Nothing’s being disconnected!”

Guy: “Then why are you calling?”

Me: “To make sure you’re satisfied with the service you’re receiving.”

Guy: “I was satisfied until you told me you’re cutting off my service.”

Me: “Your service isn’t being cut off. Everything’s fine!”

Guy: “Oh, okay. Well I gotta go apologize to my wife now!” *click*

Looking Forward To Backward Logic

| Missouri, USA | Top

Customer: “I’m here to return this shirt. I’m not satisfied with it.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Could you explain what’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “The writing on it is all backward.”

(She pulls the shirt from her bag, but the lettering looks fine.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m looking at it right now, and this shirt is definitely not backward.”

Customer: “No, I went home and tried it on, and it was backward!”

Me: “Were you looking in a mirror?”

Customer: “Yes, but it should still read from right to left!”