Archive for 2009

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The Vacation Of A Lifetime, Slightly Exaggerated

| Seattle, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(I check in cruise-line passengers before they board the ship; our port building is clearly on the ground, right off the street.)

Co-worker: “These are your key cards – they’ll get you onto the ship, and then into your room, and also–”

Woman: “You mean we’re not on the ship now?”

Co-worker: “No, ma’am.”

Woman: “Oh, good, because they sent me pictures and this doesn’t measure up!”

A Violent, Delicious Meal

| Maidenhead, UK | Uncategorized

Customer: *shocked* “This isn’t what I ordered!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but this is haddock and chips. You ordered fish and chips, right?”

Customer: “No! Definitely not. It was something else.”

Me: “OK. What did you order?”

Customer: “I’m not sure. But it was broken.”

Me: “Broken? Are you sure?”

Customer: “Yes! It was smashed! Smashed, I tell you! It was smashed!”

Me: *slowly* “Ah…that’ll be it. It’s battered haddock, ma’am. Battered…in batter…and then deep-fried.”

Customer: *suddenly regaining her calm* “Oh. Yes, that sounds right.” *smiles and returns to her meal*

Honoring The Memory Of Purchases Gone By

| Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

(It was the end of my shift, and an elderly woman comes over with two lampshades. They ring in at $3.50, and she pays and takes her bag.)

Customer: “Can I return these if they don’t fit my lamps?”

Me: “Of course. Just hold on to your receipt.”

Customer: “What if I lose them?”

Me: “We can give you store credit.”

Customer: “Oh no, that won’t do…”

Me: “Well…just hold onto your receipt.”

Customer: “…can I have 5 receipts? I’ll put one in my wallet, one in my purse, one in my fridge, one in my underwear drawer, and one with my husband’s ashes.”

Me: “…”

(The woman leaves with her 5 receipts.)

Co-worker: “That was a really important $3.50.”