Archive for 2008

Jump to page:

Yes, Your Highness

| | Right | January 20, 2008

Me: “Excuse me, can I help you ma’am?”

Customer, in a very mean tone: “Yeah, I need a Dove bar.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. The soaps are right over there; see the sign?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “?”

Customer: “I’M WAITING…”

Me: *sigh*

(I go and get the soap and hand it to her. Then, she shows me a list of eight other things.)

 

1 Thumbs
1,352
VOTES

Ask And Ye Shall Receive

| | Right | January 19, 2008

(December 24th, last day for Christmas shopping.)

Customer: “Do you have a Nintendo Wii?”

Me: “No sir, unfortunately we are all sold out.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “It’s just pretty much the top holiday item, sir, and we have been selling out of the Wiis non-stop since last November.”

Customer: “When do you get them in?”

Me: “I don’t know. Not until after February, probably.”

Customer: “D**n it! I have kids you know! Show some sympathy!”

Me: “So do probably 70 of the 100 people in line behind you, sir. Now is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “What if I slip you a $20?”

Me: “What about, no.”

Customer thinking I’m stupid: “Well, sell me the box you have right there up on the corner of your shelf, you liar!”

Me: “I can’t sell it to you, but I guess I could give it to you for free if it makes you feel better. There’s nothing in there by the way…”

(Customer apparently completely ignores that last line.)

Customer: “HELL YEAH I GOT MYSELF A WII! HAHAHAHAHA MERRY CHRISTMAS SUCKERS!”

(Crowd stands with death glares fixated on me and the guy.)

Me: *hands him the box* “Merry Christmas…next person, please.”

Customer: “WHAT THE F***! GOD D**N S**T! There’s nothing in this d**n box!”

Customer behind him: “That’s because he said that was just a display box. He gave it to you just so you could be happy and you accepted it, moron!”

(Crowd of customers returns to holiday mode.)

1 Thumbs
7,035
VOTES

There’s A Turkey Alright, But It’s Standing In Line

| | Right | January 19, 2008

Customer: “Hello, can I please get a turkey burger?”

Me: “You mean a turkey sandwich?”

Customer: “No, I mean a turkey burger!”

Me: “Miss, we don’t sell turkey burgers here.”

(Another customer orders a soy patty.)

Customer: “Don’t lie to me! That woman just got one!”

Me: “That is a soy patty.”

Customer: “DON’T F***ING LIE TO ME!”

1 Thumbs
1,363
VOTES

She Probably Needs Someone To Put Her Clothes On, Too

| | Right | January 19, 2008

Customer: “Is this the children’s department?”

Associate: “Yes this is.”

Customer: “And where’s the little girl’s?”

Associate: “Right over around the corner.”

Customer: “Well? Aren’t you going to do your job?”

Associate: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “You know, you pick out my outfits for me.”

Associate: “Like a personal shopper?”

Customer: “What is this, some sort of self service store?”

Associate: “Typically, customers shop for themselves.”

Customer: “Well, fine! I’m going to shop somewhere else!”

1 Thumbs
1,682
VOTES

The Shock And Thaw Strategy

| | Right | January 18, 2008

Customer: “I need a fan.”

Me: “What kind of fan?”

Customer: “A fan for where I plug my modem in.”

Me: “Do you have it with you?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

(Customer leaves and returns with the computer. A hair dryer is duct-taped to the power supply, nozzle pointing into where the fan normally sits.)

Me, dumbfounded: “Why is there a hairdryer taped to your computer?”

Customer: “Well, I have to keep it warm, or it will freeze up.”

 

1 Thumbs
1,670
VOTES
Page 234/243First...232233234235236...Last
« Previous
Next »