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Just Wait ‘Till He Meets The Dwarves In The Urinals

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Man: “Hey! I put my card in the ATM machine over there and put in my numbers, but it won’t give me any money. Does that even make any sense?”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, the ATM is owned by that bank. You’ll have to call them.”

Man: “Oh, you would say that!”

Me: “If you’d like, sir, I can try to give you cash back here at my register, but I cannot access your bank information.”

Man: “I mean, I go to my bank and I can get out money just fine, but here… it won’t even work. I mean, does that make any sense?”

Me: “Would you like me to call my manager for you, sir?”

Man: “Oh, you’d try to save your job, wouldn’t you!”

(And then it gets weird…)

Man: “Wait!” *points at ceiling* “There used to be windows there! You people boarded them up!”

Me: “WHAT?”

Man: “Yeah! YEAH! The guys on the computers! I bet you have them up there watching me and keeping me from getting my money!”

Me: *laughing* “Um, sir, there are no people living in our walls. Go to your bank, and have a nice day!”

Man: *grumbles and leaves, turning back to look at the ceiling every few steps*

(From that point on, my co-workers who witnessed this blame everything on the ‘people in the walls’.)

When Stupid Questions Attack

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(While resetting a user’s password…)

Me: “Okay, the password needs to be at least seven characters long, has to have at least one upper case letter, one lower case letter, and one number.”

User: “What about an upper case number?”

Me: “…”

Related:
Ask A Stupid Question…
Ask A Stupid Question, Part 2
There Are No Stupid Questions, Just Stupid People
Yes, They Really Are That Dumb

Laziness Is The Father Of Repetition

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Me: “Hello, this is [Office].”

Caller: “Is this [Different Company]?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. You have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Oh, sorry.”

Me: “It’s okay…goodbye.”

(They hang up, but seconds later, the phone rings.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Office].”

Caller: “Is this [Different Company]?”

Me: “No, you’ve dialed the wrong number again.”

Caller: “Oh, sorry.”

(They hang up… and the phone rings again.)

Me: “If you keep hitting redial, you’ll just keep getting the same wrong number.”

Caller: “How did you… Oh!” *hangs up*

Related:
Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition