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Mission Impossible, Part 4

, | Ogallala, NE, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer is buying a file cabinet. ¬†As I’m taking it out for her, the cabinet falls off of the hand truck and the lock gets pushed in.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am. The damage isn’t bad. Would you like us to fix it for you?”

Customer: “I wanted to buy this undamaged!”

Me: “Of course, we could put together a new one for you.”

Customer: “I wanted this one.”

Me: “So shall I take it back and have it repaired?”

Customer: “I wanted it the way it was!”

Me: “I understand that, but the damage has been done. If you like, we can refund your money.”

Customer: “I don’t want a refund. ”

Me: “Okay… what do you want to do?”

Customer: “I wanted to buy this like it was.”

Me: *getting frustrated* “Okay, so what do you want to do?”

Customer: “I wanted to buy this cabinet like it was! Undamaged!”

Me: “Well, once you decide what you want to do, you let me know.”

(At this point, I take the cabinet into the back room and stay there. I never did find out what she did.)

Related:
Related:
Mission: Impossible, Part 2
Mission: Impossible

Mission Impossible, Part 3

Biting The Hand That Feeds You

| The Netherlands | Uncategorized

(Even though I stutter a bit, I never had any trouble helping customers. This customer thought otherwise.)

Me: “C-can I help you sir?”

Customer: *odd look* “Yes, I’d like a pack of cigarettes.”

Me: “Okay, that’s th-three ni-ninety please.”

Customer: “HELP! THIS GIRL CAN’T HELP ME!”

(At this point my colleague enters the shop, standing at the second cash register which is closed.)

Customer: “You! You can help me!”

Colleague: “I’m sorry, this cash register is closed. My colleague will help you.”

Customer: “But she can’t help me!”

(A line was begins to form behind the customer.)

Customer, to me: “So… he says you can help me.”

Me: “No, I can’t help you.”

Customer: “WHY?!”

Me: “I don’t help a**holes.”

Customer: *swears and leaves the store*

Related:
Never Smart: Biting The Hand That Makes Your Coffee

Honey, He Ain’t A Scrapbooking Project

| Michigan, MI, USA | Uncategorized

(I witnessed this on the hospital floor where I work. A patient’s daughter comes out of a hospital room and stands in the hallway, staring around looking lost.)

Nurse’s aide: “Can I help you?”

Daughter: “Yeah… can I have a stapler?”

(The nurse’s aide walks about two steps away to get a stapler and then thinks better of this request.)

Nurse’s aide: “Why do you want a stapler?”

Daughter: “My dad’s IV tubing is getting in his way. I thought it would be better if we stapled it to his arm.”

Nurse’s aide: “Um, I think tape would work better for that.”

Daughter: “You guys have tape here?”

Nurse’s aide: “Yeah, I have some here in my pocket.”

(The aide walks into the room to secure the IV tubing before any more of his genius children try to help.)

Daughter: *muttering* “I still think a stapler is a better idea…”