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Natural Born Politician

| Lincoln, NH, USA | Uncategorized

(Overheard from a school group at a theme park.)

Student: “God, these stupid lines are so long!”

Teacher: “If you don’t have anything positive to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Student: “I mean… these great lines are just long enough that we miss everything!”

Customer Variant #3: The Penny Picker

| Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

(Everyone has had this customer. They must clone them somewhere.)

Me: “That will be $2.88.”

(The customer puts a dollar on the counter and out of her purse pulls a snap-top coin pouch and I know I am screwed. She starts rooting in it, pulling out one coin at a time.)

Customer: “5, 10, 20, 25, 26, 27…”

(I void out her sale and wait on the next customer. I ring him up and give him his change.)

Customer: “Why did you wait on him? I was first.”

Me: “Well, he had the mystical ability to hand me 3 dollar bills for his key and you are still trying to come up with $2.88, a coin at a time.”

Customer: “Now you made me lose count! 5, 10, 20, 25, 26, 27…”

(I wait on several more customers.)

Customer: “Young man…” (I am 59, btw.) “… can you tell me if this is a penny or a dime?”

Me: “It is a dime.”

Customer: “Oh, I want to get rid of my pennies…” *puts dime back in pouch, starts rooting in it again* “… 76, 77, 78…”

(I continue to wait on more customers until after what seems to be an eon…)

Customer: “Oh, I only have $2.86. I will have to give you another dollar.” *starts emptying purse on counter*

Me: “No, no, that will be just fine… $2.86, no problem.”

Customer: “But I am 2 cents short!”

Me: “Trust me, not a problem.”

But Is It Fully Armed And Operational?

, | Birmingham, UK | Geeks Rule

Customer: “Hi there, I was wondering if you could help me?”

Me: “Of course. What are you after?”

Customer: “Well, my son is a huge Star Wars fan and he really wants one of those Lightsabers.”

Me: “Not a problem, we have plenty of them. Was there any particular one you were after.”

Customer: “Do you have one of the ones that come out of the handle?”

Me: “We have several pop-out ones, they also make a sound.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(They walk off and pick some of the different designs up and walk back to me.)

Customer: “Hi again.”

Me: “Did you find one?”

Customer: “Not the one that he wants.”

Me: “Well we also have some better ones in the window, would you like to see?”

Customer: “Yes, please”

(I get a prop Lightsaber out of the window and show it to them.)

Customer: “Hmm, it doesn’t seem to be the right one.”

Me: “Unfortunately, that’s all we really do.”

Customer: “So you don’t do the one that cuts things?”

Me: “Erm, the ones that cut things?”

Customer: “You know, the ones from the movies.”

Me, giving up: “Erm… you could try the Entertainer, they should do them.”

Customer: “Brilliant, thanks very much.”

(If this wasn’t bad enough, it’s happened about 3 times in the past year.)