Archive for 2008

Jump to page:

Jack Of All Trades, Master Of None

, | Minnesota, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer is trying to cancel a non-refundable reservation at a hotel…)

Me: “I apologize sir, but we will not be able to issue a refund at this time.”

Customer: “I am a doctor and will have to attend to an emergency at that time. So, you need to refund me.”

Me: “Again, I apologize, sir, but as the hotel is unwilling to refund, we will be unable to refund you at this time.”

Customer: “Well, I guess I will just have to see you in court. I am a lawyer and I am going to sue you.”

Me: “Sir, as a lawyer, I am sure you read over the terms and conditions of your reservation. As I am sure you noted, this reservation is nonrefundable. If you’d like, I’d can review the terms and conditions with you…”

Customer: “The Catholic Church is going to curse you! I am a lawyer for the Catholic Church and I will tell the bishop to curse you!”

(At this point, I didn’t know what to say to this multitalented doctor and lawyer for the Catholic Church.)

Taking “No Pain, No Gain” Too Far

| Columbia, MD, USA | Uncategorized

(The power generator for the gym had a moderate fire, effectively shutting off all of the power inside. Because the PA system is dead, the employees sweep the gym and escort all of the members outside.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but we need to evacuate. There’s been a minor emergency.”

Gym member: “What? Why?”

Me: “There’s been an emergency. Everyone has to leave.”

Gym member: “I need to finish this set! I’ll be out in a minute! ”

Me: “Yeah, I’ll just tell the fire to wait for you, then. ”

(Meanwhile, firetrucks are approaching the building, and the sirens can be clearly heard.)

Gym member: “This is ridiculous! I’m gonna talk to management! Where are they?!”

Me: “Outside, because there’s a fire.”

Gym member: “… let me get my water.”

It Happens More Often Than You’d Think

, | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Uncategorized

(I just started working at a computer store, so my trainer has a phone call on speaker so I can listen in.)

Lady: “You sold me a faulty piece of s*** laptop!”

Trainer: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Lady: “The ¬†f***ing thing won’t open!”

Trainer: “Have you tried turning the laptop around, and opening it from the other side?”

Lady: “Oh.” *click*