Archive for 2008

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Basic Subtraction, How I Miss Thee

| Crown Point, IN, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi welcome to [ice cream shop], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like to order that new Thin Mint Blizzard.”

Me: “Alright, what size?”

Customer: “Small.”

Me: “Can I get you anything else?”

Customer: “I don’t want it green.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “It’s green in this picture! I want it white! Whatever you put in there to make it green, I don’t want it.”

Me: “That would be our mint topping.”

Customer: “Mint? Ewww! No.”

Me: “So that’s one Thin MINT Cookie Blizzard with no MINT topping?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Low Expectations, Gotta Love ‘Em

| Hudson, NH, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, how are you today?”

Customer: “Hi, can you ring this stuff up and tell me how much it is?”

Me: “Uh… yeah. That’s kind of what I do.”

Customer: “Okay, but can you put it in bags too? I need to bring it home.”

Me: “… I can do that too.”

Exorcisms Not Included

, | Rochester, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(I was a cashier at a popular toy store chain when a woman came up to the register with an opened Ouija board.)

Customer: “I’d like to return this, please.”

Me: “Is there anything in particular that’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “Well, no, it works. I’m returning it because it let evil spirits into my house!”

Me: *laughs*

Customer: “Why are you laughing? This game let spirits into my house, and I demand a refund!”

Me: “Uh, oh, alright then.” *I process the return*

Customer, on the way out: “You really shouldn’t be selling satanic toys like this. What if a demon had come through and possessed one of my children?”

Me: “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll definitely pass that on to management.”