(A customer comes to the bakery and asks me if we sell some ointment.)
Me: “Sorry, but we don’t sell that here.”
Customer: “Where can I get it?”
Me: “I would suggest one of the local pharmacies.” *I name a few, including B & J’s Pharmacy*
Customer: “Is B & J’s Pharmacy…a pharmacy?”
Me: “Yes…”
Customer: “Hello, I’d like to return this gas cooker…”
Me: “Sure, what’s the problem with it, madam?”
Customer: “The picture on the front of the box shows meat, although when I opened the box there was no meat inside…”
Me: *In astonishment* “Okay, I’ll just go and get my manager…”
Customer: “Can I have a banana?”
Me: “Sure.” *I ring her up and give her a banana*
Customer: “Uh, actually… could I have a more ripe banana?”
(I hand her a very yellow banana with faint spots on it.)
Customer: “No, no, a RIPER banana. Like, a greener one.”
(I stare at her for a second, get a greener banana, and watch her walk away wondering how she got into college.)
(This one came from my manager. A customer called Target and asked about a jacket that was on sale.)
Customer (very snooty): “Hello, I would like to know if you have any Corbin Wells jackets in stock.”
My Manager: “Corbin Wells? I don’t think we sell that brand.”
Customer (getting angry): “Well, it’s on page ten in your ad!”
My Manager: “Let me see.” *she turns to page ten* “Ma’am, page ten is electronics.”
Customer (extremely angry): “You DO have the ad in front of you, don’t you?”
My manager: “Yes, I have the TARGET ad in front of me.”
Customer: “Oh, Target? That’s not the ad I’m looking at.”
My manager: “What ad are you looking at, ma’am?”
Customer (still snooty): “Kohl’s.” *click*
Customer: “I need a door.”
Me: “What kind of door?”
Customer: “You’re the professional!”
Me: “…”
Me: “Where are you going while passing through this door, and where are you leaving?”
Customer: “Garage from the kitchen.”
Me: “Great, and what size is the door that’s there now?”
Customer: “They make them in different sizes?”
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