Archive for 2007

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On The Futility Of Signs, Part 2

, , | | Right | December 10, 2007

Customer: “Are you out of Shrek the Third?”

Me: “Yes, everything I have is out on the shelves.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(Customer goes back into the rest of store, then comes back to front.)

Customer: “There’s a copy out there that says ‘FOR SALE ONLY.'”

Me: “Mmhm, there sure is.”

Customer: “Can we rent that?”

 

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Always Right, Even When Calling The Wrong Store

, , | | Right | December 10, 2007

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store #1]. How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Lumber, please.”

Me: “Sir, we do not have a lumber department.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. I was just in there and I bought four boxes of roof shingles.”

Me: “Sir, I think you have us mistaken for [Store #2].”

Customer: “Don’t correct me. I know where I just left from buying roof shingles.”

Me: “Sir, we do not now nor have we ever sold roof shingles.”

Customer: “I have my receipt right here. It says [Store #2].”

Me: “That’s fine sir, but this is [Store #1], not [Store #2].”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager!”

(After another 30 minutes of arguing with my manager we just transferred him to hardware so he could yell at them for not selling shingles.)

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Overuse Of The Discrimination Card

| | Right | December 9, 2007

Customer: “Do you have any maps of South Africa?” (We’re in Ontario, Canada.)

Me, having a look: “No, it seems we don’t. Your best bet will be online or to wait till you get there.”

Customer: “But you have maps of everywhere else! I looked in the computer and it said you had them!”

Me: “Did we have any in stock?”

Customer: “You have maps of places all over the states, but not South Africa.”

Me: “I guess there’s more interest cause people can drive there.”

Customer: “This is discrimination! I want a map of South Africa.”

Me: “Let me go check the computer again.” *runs*

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Misplaced Responsibility

| | Right | December 9, 2007

Customer: “Do you guys do price matching?”

Me: “Yes we do.”

Customer: “Ok, well Wal-Mart has this vacuum on sale for $27.99 and you have it on for $34.99. Will you match that?”

Me: “Yes, that’s no problem. I just need to see a copy of the Wal-Mart flyer with that vacuum.”

Customer: “You don’t have the flyer?”

Me: “…No. We don’t carry Wal-Mart’s flyer.”

Customer: “You want me to drive all the way home to get Wal-Mart’s flyer and come all the way back here? Are you sure you don’t have it here?”

Me: “No, we don’t have Wal-Mart’s flyer.”

Customer: (angrily) “Well, you SHOULD! Jesus Christ, do I have to do everything?”

(Customer mutters and walks away.)

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A Rose By Any Other Name

| | Right | December 8, 2007

(A customer comes to the bakery and asks me if we sell some ointment.)

Me: “Sorry, but we don’t sell that here.”

Customer: “Where can I get it?”

Me: “I would suggest one of the local pharmacies.” *I name a few, including B & J’s Pharmacy*

Customer: “Is B & J’s Pharmacy…a pharmacy?”

Me: “Yes…”

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