Archive for 2007

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Aggression Issues

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Me, checking a customer’s network connection: “…so you double-click with the left button of your mouse on the Local Area Connection icon.”

Customer: “What? Double-kick?”

Me: “No, double-click; I mean you click twice, consecutively with the left button of your mouse on the Local Area Connection icon.”

Customer: “Double-kick?”

Me: “Yes, double-kick your monitor.”

Living On The Edge

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(At an ice cream shop)

Me: “Would you like any mix-ins with that?”

Older woman: “Yes, I would like almonds. But not too many, because I’m allergic, and if I have too many I will die.”

Me: “…”

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We Need One Of These In Every Store

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Employee: *making out a rain check* “Okay, so I’m just going to look on the computer and check if any other locations have this item.”

Nice customer: “Okay, thanks.”

Angry customer: “Stop f***ing socializing and do your g**d*** job!”

Employee: “Sir, please don’t be abusive, I’m just checking our other loc-”

Angry customer: “I don’t care! DO YOUR JOB!”

(At this point, the angry customer moves toward the counter in a very threatening way. The customer behind HIM, a super-fit guy in a UFC jacket, steps in. Mr. UFC grabs the angry customer in a CHOKE HOLD and drags him outside, followed quickly by management, and to the applause of the staff and customers inside the store.)

(The angry customer was banned from the store and Mr. UFC got a gift card.)

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