Archive for 2007

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One Bad Pickup Line, A Hundred Stitches

, | Hall of Fame, Top

Male Customer: “Do you guys accept tips?”

Female Coworker: “Yeah, but we try to discourage it. We’d like to think our service is free.”

Male Customer: “Well um… Here’s a tip.” (Customer pulls out his phone number on a piece of paper)

(Female coworker’s boyfriend is right behind customer)

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Signs Are For Weaklings

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Customer: “Can I have a vanilla ice cream?”

Me: “Sure, but we don’t have ice cream. I can sell you a vanilla frozen yogurt.”

Customer: “This is frozen yogurt?”

Me: “Yea, that’s why there’s a giant sign outside the store that says FROZEN YOGURT.”

Money Talks, Something Else Walks

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Me: “Your cable modem doesn’t work because you split the line to it 30 times for all the other rooms in your house. You have to put it on the first splitter. I’d be happy to rewire it for you.”


Me: “Have you ever heard of cable fraud?”

Customer: “How much was that again?”


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Sure Sweetheart, Your Place Or Mine?

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Lawn Care Customer: “Can you fertilize me next week?”

I’ll Have Your Skills And Experience, To Go

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Client: “In the future, I’d prefer not to pay you to make websites for me. I’ve seen what you do, and I think it’s pretty easy. Can you just teach me how to do your web stuff?”

Me: “If you’re really interested, I guess I can teach you the basics of web design, but it’s going to require at least several lessons and it’ll cost $xx for every hour I spend with you.

Client: “GOD, do you have to charge for everything?!?”

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