Archive for 2007

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Who Needs Math When You Can Sue

| | Right | October 28, 2007

Pizza Customer: “I ordered a pizza: half pepperoni, half sausage … and half plain.”

Me: “Lady, there’s only two halves in a whole.”

Pizza Customer: “I know there are only two halves in a whole! I’m a lawyer; this treatment is unfair and I demand satisfaction!”

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No, That’s Our Escalator of Doom

| | Right | October 27, 2007

Customer (pointing to up escalator): “How do I go up? This way?”

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Our Guests Are Robots Too

, | | Right | October 27, 2007

Ski Resort Guest: “Hey! You guys really go all out.”

(Me with puzzled look on face)

Ski Resort Guest: “You guys have that robotic bear crossing underneath the lift just as we went over.”

Me: “Sir, we don’t have any robotic bears.”

Ski Resort Guest: “What? You mean that was a real bear?”

Me: “Yes sir.”

Ski Resort Guest: “Ahhh. We were gonna hike down but I think we’ll just take the lift.”

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Please See The “Time Travel” Section

| | Right | October 27, 2007

Customer: “Do you have a picture book of dinosaurs?”

Me: “Sure.”

(We walk to the dinosaur books and I show him many books with various sketches and paintings of dinosaurs)

Customer: “No, not pictures…PHOTOGRAPHS. Photos of dinosaurs, please. Where are those?”

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Actually, Fido Is A Weapon of Mass Destruction

| | Right | October 27, 2007

Click here to view the comic version of this quote!

Dog Owner: “When my dog pees, he leaves brown patches all over the lawn. Is he peeing fire?”

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