Archive for 2007

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Signs Are For Weaklings

| | Right | October 27, 2007

Customer: “Can I have a vanilla ice cream?”

Me: “Sure, but we don’t have ice cream. I can sell you a vanilla frozen yogurt.”

Customer: “This is frozen yogurt?”

Me: “Yea, that’s why there’s a giant sign outside the store that says FROZEN YOGURT.”

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Money Talks, Something Else Walks

, | | Right | October 26, 2007

Me: “Your cable modem doesn’t work because you split the line to it 30 times for all the other rooms in your house. You have to put it on the first splitter. I’d be happy to rewire it for you.”

Customer: “YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!”

Me: “Have you ever heard of cable fraud?”

Customer: “How much was that again?”

Source

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Sure Sweetheart, Your Place Or Mine?

| | Right | October 24, 2007

Lawn Care Customer: “Can you fertilize me next week?”

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I’ll Have Your Skills And Experience, To Go

| | Right | October 24, 2007

Client: “In the future, I’d prefer not to pay you to make websites for me. I’ve seen what you do, and I think it’s pretty easy. Can you just teach me how to do your web stuff?”

Me: “If you’re really interested, I guess I can teach you the basics of web design, but it’s going to require at least several lessons and it’ll cost $xx for every hour I spend with you.

Client: “GOD, do you have to charge for everything?!?”

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Show The Occifer Some Respect

| | Right | October 24, 2007

Nervous blonde I pulled over: “Hello occifer, what can I do for you?”

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