Ski Resort Guest: “Hey! You guys really go all out.”

I have a puzzled look on my face.

Ski Resort Guest: “You guys have that robotic bear crossing underneath the lift just as we went over.”

Me: “Sir, we don’t have any robotic bears.”

Ski Resort Guest: “What? You mean that was a real bear?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Ski Resort Guest: “Ahhh. We were gonna hike down but I think we’ll just take the lift.”

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Dog Owner: “When my dog pees, he leaves brown patches all over the lawn. Is he peeing fire?”

Seafood Restaurant Customer: (While looking at the lobster tank full of live lobsters) “Do you have any fresh ones?”

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Disgruntled Bank Customer: “What do you mean I don’t have any money? I still have checks in my book!”

(Customer opened up the checkbook, showing off the blank checks.)

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Male Customer: “Do you guys accept tips?”

Female Coworker: “Yeah, but we try to discourage it. We’d like to think our service is free.”

Male Customer: “Well, um… Here’s a tip.”

(The customer pulls out his phone number on a piece of paper. The female coworker’s boyfriend was right behind the customer.)