*customer hands over a tree skirt for her Christmas tree*

Customer: “That’s all! And I have a coupon…”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it appears that the tree skirt is already on sale, so you can’t use the coupon.”

Customer: “Really? It doesn’t say anywhere that it’s on sale.”

Me: “Well, the ad that the coupon comes in also says that ‘All Christmas decorations’ are on sale for 30% off. Your coupon is for 40% off, so its not that big of a difference. It says on the coupon that you cannot use it on sale items…”

Customer: “Can’t you just give me the regular price and discount it with the coupon?”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re only losing out on… six dollars. I really don’t want to lose my job over your six dollars.”

Customer: “I BELIEVE I’M BEING CHEATED! I’M NEVER SHOPPING AT THIS ESTABLISHMENT AGAIN!”

(The customer came back two hours later to buy the exact same tree skirt.)

This story is part of the Christmas Eve roundup!

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(This is after we’re all done with our transaction. I’m half-Jewish, so I celebrate Hanukkah, which was currently going on.)

Me: “Have a great day, ma’am.”

Customer: “Merry Christmas!”

Me: *completely sincere* “And Happy Hanukkah to you!”

Customer: *flails her arms and screams happily* “No, it’s about Jesus! It’s Jesus’s birthday! You have to worship Jesus! It’s all about Jesus! Love Jesus!”

Customer: “I’d like to buy the Internet, please.”

Sales: “The whole thing?”

Customer: *calling from cellphone* “Would you tell me how to get to your office?”

Me: “Sure, where are you now?”

Customer: “That is none of your business. Just tell me how to get there.”

Me: “But to do that, I need to know where you are starting from. Are you in our town?”

Customer: “I told you that is none of your d*** business.”

(After few more exchanges of this sort…)

Customer: “You are an idiot. Let me speak to your manager.”

Manager: *who overheard my part of the conversation* “May I help you?”

Customer: “Tell me how to get to your office.”

Manager: “Well, that depends on where you are starting from.”

Customer: “S***!! Just f***ing tell me how to get there.”

Manager: “Okay. See the next corner? Turn right there.”

Customer: *click*

(An 80-year-old woman and her husband come up to the cutting counter with a bolt of sparkly, orange, see-through fabric.)

80-Year-Old Woman: “Three yards please.”

Me: *as I am measuring:* “What are you using this for?”

80-Year-Old Woman: “I am taking a belly dancing class, and I am going to make my own outfit.”

(I stare, and the man looks everywhere but his wife.)

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