Me: “May I get something for you ladies to drink?”
Lady #1: “Um, yes.” *to Lady #2* “What are you having, dear?”
Lady #2: “I’ll have the white zinfandel.”
Lady #1: “Oh yes, I’ll have the infidel, too. Last night I had the marlo!”
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Me: “What size?”
Lady: “Electric Lime.”
Me: “What size?”
Lady: “Electric Lime.”
Me: “That’s a color, miss. What size did you want the harness in?”
Lady: “What do you mean, ‘What size’?”
Me: “How many inches is it?”
Lady: “Oh I didn’t even think about the size.”
*grimace*
Lady: “Yeah, I just got back so I missed the big rain storm.”
Me: “Well, it wasn’t too bad. Where did you go? Out of town?”
Lady: “What?”
Me: “You got back from somewhere. Where did you go?”
Lady: “I haven’t been anywhere.”
Me: “So you were here for the rainstorm?”
Lady: “No, I was gone.”
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Library Patron: “Do you guys have books?”
Me: (I turn and give a side glance to the shelves of books on my right) “Nope. It’s all online.”
Customer: “Do you have that book from that movie Les Miserababah?”
Me: “Les Miserables? Yes, it would be on the third floor.”
Customer: “What section would it be in?”
Me: “The fiction section.”
Customer: “So non-fiction is true, and fiction is not true, right?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “How can this book be fiction if there is a movie about it?”
Me: “Movies are not true.”
Customer: “Really?”
Me: “Yes. Movies are not true, movies are fiction.”
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