Archive for 2007

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Because Everything’s Bigger In Texas

, | | Right | November 7, 2007

(Note: the shop is really, really small, and is inside the same building as a supermarket.)

*lady walks into store with shopping cart*

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, could you leave your cart outside? It’s blocking other people from getting inside the store.”

Lady: *moves her cart filled with unpaid merchandise outside the store*

Me: “I’m sorry, you can’t take unpaid merchandise outside the store either.”

Lady: “I’m sorry. I’m from Texas!”

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… And We Wonder Why Everyone Hates Us

, | | Right | November 7, 2007

Customer: “Are you Hispanic?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Middle Eastern?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Egyptian?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “What are you?”

Me: “Chinese.”

(customer puts on offended face)

Customer: “I don’t appreciate you treating me like I’m dumb.”

Me: “Excuse me? I’m being honest.”

Customer: “NO CHINESE PERSON WOULD EVER HAVE EYES AS BIG AS YOURS!!!”

Me: *mouth wide open*

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My, Aren’t We Feeling Ethnocentric Today?

| | Right | November 7, 2007

Travel Store Customer: “Do you have any globes that have the United States bigger? I don’t need all this Africa, I just really want the US and Europe.”

Source

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Sorry, Scotty & Spock Haven’t Been Born Yet

| | Right | November 6, 2007

Customer: “Hello, is this Tech support?”

Me: “Absolutely, is there an issue I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah I want you to take over my computer and tell me what’s wrong with it. It’s all crazy.”

Me: (Thinking about how “all crazy” actually constitutes as a good description of a problem in most cases) “Okay ma’am well I assume you’ve had us remote control your machine again, so go ahead and open the program for me and I’ll try to connect. What’s the IP address?”

Customer: “No, you can’t have my IP.”

Me: “Well it’s impossible to help you without it. Don’t worry, I’m not going to do something to your machine.”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. My ISP or whatever stopped giving me internet so I need you to do it some other way.”

Me: “Ma’am, without internet I can’t just .. beam into your computer.”

Customer: “Man, those guys control EVERYTHING!!”

*click*

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When Generations Collide

, | | Right | November 6, 2007

Old man in a Japanese Gift Shop: “Do you carry thongs here?”

Me: “Uh… WHAT?”

Old man: “You know… flippity flops… sandals!”

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