Archive for 2007

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… And Elvis Has Left The Building!

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*phone rings*

Me: “Thank you for calling ***…”

Her: “Yes, I see in your ad this week that you have Happy Feet out.”

Me: “Yes, it’s out for the Playstation 2.”

Her: “That’s not the movie?”

Me: “No, it is not.”

Her: “When is it coming?”

Me: “It’s out in theaters right now. We have no date on when it is coming.”

Her: “Well is there anything that can show my grandkids how to do the dance?”

Me: “Not that I am aware of.”

Her: “Well I got this book for my grandkids and it shows the penguins….” *goes on for what feels like an HOUR about some book and teaching them some dance from the movie. I sorta doze on and off since her voice is very… shall I say….. monotone, flat, and boring. Finally…* “….. so the main reason why I’m calling.”

Me: (you mean to tell me all this was a SECONDARY reason why you called?) “Yes ma’am.”

Her: “Do you believe in Christ?”

Me: “Uuuhhhhh…..” *customer comes up with stackfull of DVDs* “I gotta go now. Bye.” *hangs up phone*

Source

They Don’t Have Faucets Where They’re From

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(We have people wash their hands when they have to take out or put in contact lenses. Only one knob works for the faucet so we removed the other knob)

Customer: “How do you turn this?” *grabs at the stump where the knob was removed*

Me: “You use the other one.”

A Pyrhhic Victory

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(Earlier in the day this guy called to make a reservation, even though we were totally booked. The manager decided to take it anyway. When he got to the restaurant, he proceeded to pick his own table though I had no idea he had.)

Me: “Okay sir, just follow me and I can bring you to your table.”

Customer: “But I’ve been waiting for this one.”

Me: “Well, sir, that table is still occupied however I do have an available table for you.”

Customer: “NO! I don’t want that table. I’ve been waiting for this table for 20 minutes now! Why should I go sit at that table when I’ve been waiting for this one!”

Me: “Okay. But just so you know. It’s going to be another 20 minutes before they pay and get up, if they decide to get up after paying. Even then you’d still have to wait for a busser to clear it and another one to reset it and right now they are backed up.”

Customer: “I just don’t understand why I can’t have this table.”

Me, annoyed: “And I don’t understand why you won’t sit at an open table that we have waiting for you where you can sit down and start enjoying your meal now instead of waiting another 30 minutes for THAT table to be ready for you.”

Customer: “Attitude? Are you giving me attitude? I don’t think so buddy!”

Me: “Weelll…”

(At this point the other hostesses gave me a death look to shut up so I gave up. The customers at the table he was waiting for actually did decide to camp out for another hour. By that time we sat the table we were to give him. He ended up waiting an extra hour and a half to be seated.)